by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,350thBest Weather: 1,673rdLowest Crime Rates: 1,889th
The Galactic Empire of
Father Knows Best State Suspiciously Conservative Democracy
We will rock you
General Sebastian Bohnhead
Influence
Minnow
Region
Civil Rights
Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Kohnhead

Population4.915 billion

CapitalKohnhead City
LeaderGeneral Sebastian Bohnhead
FaithKohnheadism

CurrencyKohnheada
AnimalPanda

The Galactic Empire of Kohnhead is a massive, genial nation, ruled by General Sebastian Bohnhead with an iron fist, and notable for its teetotalling pirates, anti-smoking policies, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, cynical population of 4.915 billion Kohnheadians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kohnhead City. The average income tax rate is 96.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Kohnheadian economy, worth 706 trillion Kohnheadas a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Trout Farming, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 143,827 Kohnheadas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Little kids often wonder why strange grown-ups are following them around the soft play areas, attempts to inform people about their unclaimed property are often mistaken for telephone scams, corporate lawyers are switching careers to the more lucrative field of green politics, and teenage TV characters are played by thirty-year-olds by the end of the second season. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kohnhead's national animal is the Panda, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Kohnheadism.

Kohnhead is ranked 235,794th in the world and 1,080th in 10000 Islands for Fattest Citizens, with 3.83 Obesity Rate.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,350thBest Weather: 1,673rdLowest Crime Rates: 1,889thTop
5%
Safest: 2,675thHealthiest Citizens: 3,038thLongest Average Lifespans: 3,255thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 3,258thHighest Average Tax Rates: 3,607thLargest Welfare Programs: 4,052ndMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 4,538thMost Beautiful Environments: 4,690thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4,811thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 4,831stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 4,844thLargest Governments: 4,848thMost Cheerful Citizens: 5,259thNicest Citizens: 5,910thMost Compassionate Citizens: 6,205thMost Pacifist: 6,579thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 7,152ndMost Developed: 8,455thMost Advanced Public Transport: 9,450thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 9,907thMost Advanced Public Education: 9,968thMost Corrupt Governments: 10,339thTop
10%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 13,799thMost Inclusive: 14,921stHighest Average Incomes: 15,664thSmartest Citizens: 17,869thHighest Poor Incomes: 18,786thMost Influential: 19,413thMost Efficient Economies: 19,420thMost Secular: 19,838thMost Scientifically Advanced: 23,670th
Top
5%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 19th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 34th in the regionBest Weather: 35th in the regionSafest: 50th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 53rd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 53rd in the regionTop
10%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 64th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 64th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 65th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 66th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 66th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 68th in the regionLargest Governments: 72nd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 74th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 80th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 83rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 92nd in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 98th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 106th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 111th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Kohnhead lodged a message on the 10000 Islands Regional Message Board.
  • : Kohnhead lodged a message on the 10000 Islands Regional Message Board.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, teenage TV characters are played by thirty-year-olds by the end of the second season.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, corporate lawyers are switching careers to the more lucrative field of green politics.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, attempts to inform people about their unclaimed property are often mistaken for telephone scams.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, little kids often wonder why strange grown-ups are following them around the soft play areas.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, neighbourhood gossips whip up controversy about those receiving adult merchandise.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, there's an aura of pseudoscience around academia.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, hospitals have to sell their computers on vBay in order to afford the ransomware decryption payments.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, not many kids know Shakespeare's Hamlet but most of them have seen unofficial sequel Hamlet III - The Search For Osric.

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