by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,211thBest Weather: 1,549thLowest Crime Rates: 1,877th
The Galactic Empire of
Father Knows Best State Suspiciously Conservative Democracy
We will rock you
General Sebastian Bohnhead
Civil Rights
Below Average
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population3.508 billion

CapitalKohnhead City
LeaderGeneral Sebastian Bohnhead


The Galactic Empire of Kohnhead is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by General Sebastian Bohnhead with an iron fist, and renowned for its prohibition of alcohol, anti-smoking policies, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cynical population of 3.508 billion Kohnheadians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kohnhead City. The average income tax rate is 96.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Kohnheadian economy, worth 505 trillion Kohnheadas a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Trout Farming, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 144,027 Kohnheadas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.8 times as much as the poorest.

Teens are voting on which C-List pop star will be next to be evicted from the opera house, police regularly arrest families playing Monopoly, the richest individuals apparently buy nothing but noodles and toilet paper, and the government is notorious for leaving citizens with almost nothing from their inheritance. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kohnhead's national animal is the panda, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Kohnheadism.

Kohnhead is ranked 190,317th in the world and 1,303rd in 10000 Islands for Nudest, with 50.75 Cheeks Per Square Mile.

Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,211thBest Weather: 1,549thLowest Crime Rates: 1,877thTop
Safest: 2,678thHealthiest Citizens: 2,877thLongest Average Lifespans: 3,070thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 3,149thHighest Average Tax Rates: 3,482ndLargest Welfare Programs: 3,903rdMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 4,355thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 4,393rdMost Beautiful Environments: 4,451stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4,507thLargest Governments: 4,661stHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 4,718thMost Cheerful Citizens: 5,569thNicest Citizens: 5,888thMost Compassionate Citizens: 6,169thMost Pacifist: 6,530thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 6,819thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 7,082ndMost Developed: 7,922ndMost Corrupt Governments: 9,287thMost Advanced Public Education: 9,709thMost Advanced Public Transport: 9,816thMost Valuable International Artwork: 10,920thTop
Most Inclusive: 14,650thHighest Average Incomes: 14,914thSmartest Citizens: 17,825thMost Secular: 18,672ndMost Efficient Economies: 18,760thHighest Poor Incomes: 21,665thMost Influential: 21,928th
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 14th in the regionTop
Best Weather: 32nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 32nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 39th in the regionSafest: 49th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 49th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 56th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 58th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 62nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 63rd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 64th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 65th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 69th in the regionLargest Governments: 71st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 73rd in the regionTop
Most Corrupt Governments: 80th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 80th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 93rd in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 102nd in the regionNicest Citizens: 115th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 118th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 124th in the regionMost Pacifist: 140th in the regionMost Developed: 143rd in the region

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