The Protectorate of Lamp Post XCVIII is a gargantuan, efficient nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape and absence of drug laws. The hard-working, democratic population of 15.767 billion Lamp Post XCVIIIians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The tiny, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Defense, and International Aid. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.5%.

The thriving Lamp Post XCVIIIian economy, worth 875 trillion pendulums a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Basket Weaving industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Automobile Manufacturing, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is 55,498 pendulums, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 196,446 per year while the poor average 11,320, a ratio of 17.4 to 1.

Crime is a problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Lamp Post XCVIII's national animal is the polar bear, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Lamp Post XCVIII is ranked 256,403^rd in the world and 1^st in The Global Liberty Alliance for Lowest Crime Rates, with 48.54 law-abiding acts per hour.