The Armed Republic of Lingu is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Mirko with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, infamous sell-swords, and disturbing lack of elderly people. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 1.87 billion Linguans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. The average income tax rate is 76.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Linguan economy, worth 401 trillion hounds a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 214,834 hounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Ancient antique swords have had their blades replaced with latex boffer LARP replicas, everyone apparently sends Mirko hair-filled lockets, offers to die heroically, and poetic desires to co-parent a child, political loyalty is enforced by way of chemical addiction, and truancy officers have a hard time catching children trained in advanced camouflage skills. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lingu's national animal is the bloodhound, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Lingu is ranked 70,231^st in the world and 2,344^th in The East Pacific for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 2,973.1 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.