by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Defense Forces: 258th Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 512th Largest Manufacturing Sector: 743rd
The Yakuvony of
Iron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors
S nami Bog!
Koychev Yelisey
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Lotion Empire

Population3.686 billion

LeaderKoychev Yelisey

AnimalGolden Eagle

The Yakuvony of Lotion Empire is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Koychev Yelisey with an iron fist, and renowned for its infamous sell-swords, compulsory military service, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.686 billion Yakuvonians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Law & Order also on the agenda, while International Aid receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mygrosk. The average income tax rate is 94.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Yakuvoniak economy, worth 833 trillion Bylorunas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 226,156 Bylorunas, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

The practice of capital punishment proves divisive, wood-framed catapults are ready to launch diseased corpses into besieged cities, the nation's infamous boot camp is more brutal than most battlefields, and cleaners are very careful not to bump into the big red button on Koychev Yelisey's desk. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lotion Empire's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Orthodox.

Lotion Empire is ranked 165,203rd in the world and 9,005th in The North Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 34.19 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.

Most Advanced Defense Forces: 258thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 512thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 743rdMost Influential: 1,355thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,645thTop
Most Corrupt Governments: 1,969thLargest Black Market: 2,109thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 2,357thLargest Insurance Industry: 2,475thHighest Average Incomes: 3,909thLargest Governments: 4,637thLowest Crime Rates: 5,286thHighest Average Tax Rates: 5,322ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 6,112thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 7,553rdMost Conservative: 7,794thLargest Mining Sector: 7,801stLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 8,285thTop
Healthiest Citizens: 8,871stMost Efficient Economies: 8,902ndMost Authoritarian: 10,672ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 11,053rdMost Subsidized Industry: 11,213thHighest Poor Incomes: 11,572ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 13,946thLargest Publishing Industry: 14,683rdMost Advanced Public Transport: 15,235th
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 11th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 26th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 30th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 55th in the regionLargest Black Market: 64th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 78th in the regionTop
Largest Insurance Industry: 94th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 177th in the regionLargest Governments: 216th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 234th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 254th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 255th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 294th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 383rd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 395th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 407th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 427th in the regionMost Conservative: 454th in the regionTop
Healthiest Citizens: 500th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 515th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 554th in the regionMost Influential: 574th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 614th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 618th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 619th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 669th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 769th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 860th in the region

National Happenings

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