by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Defense Forces: 18thMost Subsidized Industry: 191stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 618th
The Lotionese Empire of
Iron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors
S Nami Bog!
Influence
Shoeshiner
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Map Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Lotion Empire

Population8.151 billion

CapitalPetrograd
LeaderLubey II Privykia
FaithOrthodox

CurrencyLudon
AnimalBlack Eagle

The Lotionese Empire of Lotion Empire is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Lubey II Privykia with an iron fist, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, ban on automobiles, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 8.151 billion Lotionese are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry and Law & Order are also considered important, while International Aid and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Petrograd. The average income tax rate is 99.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Lotionese economy, worth a remarkable 2,573 trillion Ludons a year, is highly specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 315,764 Ludons, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.7 times as much as the poorest.

The rainbow assortment of chemicals in the water has turned the frogs gay, the government keeps its thumb on the scales of justice, local executives are seen on the corner with cardboard signs reading "will oppress the masses for food", and the Department of Health is snowed under by requests for crisper ciabatta and tenderer tagliatelle. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lotion Empire's national animal is the Black Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Orthodox.

Lotion Empire is ranked 303,648th in the world and 7,018th in The North Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 26 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.

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1%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 18thMost Subsidized Industry: 191stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 618thMost Primitive: 635thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 645thMost Corrupt Governments: 693rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 955thMost Patriotic: 969thMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,086thMost Ignorant Citizens: 1,258thLargest Black Market: 1,457thMost Efficient Economies: 1,707thMost Avoided: 1,814thHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,904thLargest Governments: 2,175thHighest Average Incomes: 2,454thTop
5%
Largest Mining Sector: 3,611thRudest Citizens: 3,869thMost Influential: 4,074thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,205thNudest: 6,401stHighest Poor Incomes: 7,475thHighest Economic Output: 8,821stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 9,397thMost Secular: 10,291stTop
10%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 15,775thLowest Crime Rates: 17,265th
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1%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 10th in the regionMost Primitive: 15th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 22nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 26th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 28th in the regionMost Patriotic: 28th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 29th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 31st in the regionLargest Black Market: 42nd in the regionMost Avoided: 44th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 67th in the regionTop
5%
Most Efficient Economies: 75th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 80th in the regionLargest Governments: 94th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 95th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 130th in the regionNudest: 136th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 138th in the regionRudest Citizens: 139th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 274th in the regionMost Secular: 328th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 330th in the regionTop
10%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 389th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 435th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 575th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 684th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 691st in the region

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