The Constitutional Republic of Mallandia is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by President Andrew Mallace with a fair hand, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 21.811 billion Mallandians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vicadal. The average income tax rate is 76.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Mallandian economy, worth a remarkable 2,842 trillion Mallors a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 130,310 Mallors, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It takes at least three to tango, the police think a properly conducted criminal investigation is a real pain, nations that kill a Mallandian can expect a strongly worded letter, and a flying elephant and President Andrew Mallace share the same nickname. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Mallandia's national animal is the Mallacrat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Mallandia is ranked 25,458^th in the world and 2^nd in The Meme Must Go On for Lowest Crime Rates, with 85.61 law-abiding acts per hour.