by Max Barry

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Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 428thMost Advanced Public Transport: 456thMost Subsidized Industry: 466th
The The Grand Holy Empire of
Iron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors
Drink & Drink & Drink & Drink & Drink & Drink & Fight!
His Grand Holiness
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population13.742 billion

CapitalWinking Skeever
LeaderHis Grand Holiness

CurrencyBronzed Bottle Cap
AnimalBar Stool

The The Grand Holy Empire of McStooley is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by His Grand Holiness with an iron fist, and notable for its otherworldly petting zoo, national health service, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 13.742 billion Drunkards are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Education, and Healthcare also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Winking Skeever. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Drunkard economy, worth a remarkable 3,982 trillion Bronzed Bottle Caps a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 289,792 Bronzed Bottle Caps, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Artists from across the nation compete to renovate the restrooms of old government buildings, in life full of care there is no time to stop and stare, the fire brigade often deal with cases of burnt toast, and bands of paramedics walk the streets looking for suspicious medical activity. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. McStooley's national animal is the Bar Stool, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Barhopping.

McStooley is ranked 241,546th in the world and 5,996th in the Pacific for Most Beautiful Environments, with 3.93 Pounds Of Wildlife Per Square Mile.

Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 428thMost Advanced Public Transport: 456thMost Subsidized Industry: 466thHighest Average Tax Rates: 835thLargest Governments: 914thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 941stLowest Crime Rates: 1,134thLargest Welfare Programs: 1,237thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,355thMost Efficient Economies: 1,524thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,564thMost Devout: 1,646thLargest Black Market: 1,920thHighest Average Incomes: 2,306thTop
Highest Poor Incomes: 2,687thHighest Economic Output: 3,033rdMost Advanced Public Education: 3,193rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3,396thMost Scientifically Advanced: 3,431stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3,838thMost Developed: 4,077thMost Cultured: 4,723rdLongest Average Lifespans: 5,249thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5,588thLargest Information Technology Sector: 6,830thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 7,016thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7,627thSmartest Citizens: 7,752ndLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 7,890thMost Inclusive: 9,489thTop
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 12,335thLargest Mining Sector: 14,416thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 16,095thLargest Populations: 19,377thMost Influential: 22,602nd
Most Advanced Public Transport: 4th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 4th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 17th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 21st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 23rd in the regionLargest Governments: 27th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 28th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 30th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 34th in the regionMost Devout: 40th in the regionLargest Black Market: 40th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 43rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 45th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 48th in the regionTop
Highest Average Incomes: 66th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 77th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 80th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 85th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 95th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 97th in the regionLargest Populations: 100th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 106th in the regionMost Developed: 111th in the regionMost Cultured: 112th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 137th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 153rd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 162nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 188th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 190th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 239th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 249th in the regionMost Inclusive: 258th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 270th in the regionTop
Most Influential: 375th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 406th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 571st in the region

National Happenings

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