The Nation of Moist Moist is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Bobby Tables with an iron fist, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, pith helmet sales, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 9.266 billion Moist ones are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Healthcare, with Defense, Education, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while International Aid and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Aquatica. The average income tax rate is 72.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Moist economy, worth 529 trillion Null Pointers a year, is quite specialized and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Cheese Exports, and Pizza Delivery. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 57,128 Null Pointers, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government seeks peaceful forum with terrorists, the nation has welcomed its expats back with open arms, it's all quiet on the western front, and almost all of the nation's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Moist Moist's national animal is the Segmentation Fault, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is hydration.

Moist Moist is ranked 96,359^th in the world and 126^th in Thaecia for Lowest Crime Rates, with 66.32 law-abiding acts per hour.