by Max Barry

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Largest Welfare Programs: 1,716th Most Rebellious Youth: 1,824th Most Cheerful Citizens: 2,664th
The Pining Martens of
Civil Rights Lovefest Brave Progressives
Hey, why's everyone pining for martens?
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population13.579 billion

CapitalPoppaea Maxima


The Pining Martens of Nakarisaune is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, remarkable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 13.579 billion adorable mustelids hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Poppaea Maxima. The average income tax rate is 80.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Nakarisaunean economy, worth a remarkable 1,517 trillion hyenas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, highly specialized black market in Book Publishing, Tourism, Information Technology, and Gambling. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 111,778 hyenas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

The government has solemnly sworn not to look up other nations' internet browsing history if the favor is returned, tuba players are paid to quietly whisper into their instruments, diplomatic missions typically end with a flurry of childish insults, accusations and phlegm, and fake designer clothes are shredded and burnt while many in the world don't have a shirt on their back. Crime, especially youth-related, is a major problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Nakarisaune's national animal is the aardvark, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Nakarisaune is ranked 5,017th in the world and 175th in the South Pacific for Nicest Citizens, with 39.36 Average Smiles Per Day.

Largest Welfare Programs: 1,716thMost Rebellious Youth: 1,824thMost Cheerful Citizens: 2,664thLargest Black Market: 2,805thLargest Publishing Industry: 3,052ndHighest Crime Rates: 3,543rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 4,754thNicest Citizens: 5,017thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 5,265thMost Advanced Public Education: 5,463rdMost Politically Free: 5,714thMost Compassionate Citizens: 6,334thHighest Drug Use: 6,441stMost Cultured: 7,210thHighest Economic Output: 7,936thTop
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 8,639thHealthiest Citizens: 9,305thSmartest Citizens: 10,054thMost Influential: 10,409thLargest Populations: 10,706thMost Pacifist: 11,024thNudest: 11,208thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 11,625thLongest Average Lifespans: 12,277thHighest Average Tax Rates: 12,769thMost Advanced Public Transport: 13,508thMost Beautiful Environments: 14,623rdLargest Gambling Industry: 15,122ndMost Developed: 15,413thMost Inclusive: 15,851st
Most Rebellious Youth: 38th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 41st in the regionLargest Black Market: 47th in the regionTop
Most Cheerful Citizens: 73rd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 77th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 81st in the regionMost Politically Free: 85th in the regionLargest Populations: 91st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 124th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 133rd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 135th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 153rd in the regionHighest Drug Use: 168th in the regionNicest Citizens: 175th in the regionMost Cultured: 206th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 233rd in the regionNudest: 261st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 287th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 289th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 290th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 296th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 306th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 307th in the regionTop
Longest Average Lifespans: 399th in the regionMost Pacifist: 416th in the regionLargest Governments: 427th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 436th in the regionMost Developed: 462nd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 498th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 540th in the regionMost Inclusive: 563rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 577th in the regionMost Secular: 581st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 582nd in the regionBest Weather: 602nd in the regionMost Influential: 622nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 628th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 646th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 656th in the region

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