The Space Pirate Empire of New Briantown is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Brian with an even hand, and notable for its unlimited-speed roads, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, hard-working, cheerful population of 8.231 billion New Briantownians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The tiny, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Briantown. The average income tax rate is 3.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient New Briantownian economy, worth a remarkable 2,610 trillion Briantown bucks a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 317,116 Briantown bucks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Voting is compulsory, holidaymakers sleep curled up on the floor as hotel beds are replaced with oversized bookcases, New Briantownian tourists are encouraged to hand out spare condoms to locals while on vacation, and a video of Brian wearing shock-blue face paint and smashing an electric guitar in front of a frenzied crowd is on endless repeat on the nightly news. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. New Briantown's national animal is the Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Brianism.

New Briantown is ranked 3,478^th in the world and 138^th in the South Pacific for Most Secular, with 98.69 Atheism Rate.