The Space Pirate Empire of New Briantown is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Brian with an even hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, free-roaming dinosaurs, and national health service. The compassionate, hard-working, cheerful population of 9.5 billion New Briantownians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The tiny, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Briantown. The average income tax rate is 36.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient New Briantownian economy, worth a remarkable 3,307 trillion Briantown bucks a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 348,134 Briantown bucks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Businesses are forced to bring all work back within the nation's borders, artists are pillars of society, roads are often attended by round-the-clock construction crews, and tourists often cite 'hiding money in an off-shore banking account' as their main reason to visit the nation. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. New Briantown's national animal is the Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Brianism.

New Briantown is ranked 2,496^th in the world and 86^th in the South Pacific for Most Secular, with 99.07 Atheism Rate.