The Colony of Nine Romes is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Andrew with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, keen interest in outer space, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, cynical population of 5.085 billion Nine Romesians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Administration, with Education and Defense also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Capital Wastelands. The average income tax rate is 59.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Nine Romesian economy, worth 678 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Tourism, Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 133,369 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nationalistic national anthem inspires citizens to literally spit at foreigners, consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed, giggling teens are asked to put their mouths on rubber dolls, and bug burgers are extra crunchy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Nine Romes's national animal is the leopard, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Swift.

Nine Romes is ranked 91,165^th in the world and 997^th in The East Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 19.81 flags saluted per person per day.