by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,026thMost Influential: 1,744thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,818th
The Dictatorship of
Psychotic Dictatorship Fascist Dictatorship
Deus, Pátria e Familia - Longa vida Nookie Island
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

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Nookie Island

Population12.935 billion

CapitalNookie City


The Dictatorship of Nookie Island is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Nookie with an iron fist, and renowned for its state-planned economy, smutty television, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 12.935 billion Nookienseses are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, moralistic government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nookie City. The average income tax rate is 91.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Nookie Islandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,118 trillion Escudoes a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is 86,499 Escudoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Only persecuted professionals need apply, forty-year-old men are asked for their ID before watching the latest pony cartoon movies, the military refers to helpless combatants offering surrender as "sitting ducks", and war vets look after war animals. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nookie Island's national animal is the Pig, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Cristianismo.

Nookie Island is ranked 203,285th in the world and 156th in Portugal for Highest Crime Rates, with 1.58 Crimes Per Hour.

Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,026thMost Influential: 1,744thTop
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,818thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4,693rdBest Weather: 4,879thLowest Crime Rates: 4,956thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 5,312thMost Beautiful Environments: 6,815thHighest Average Tax Rates: 7,205thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 7,384thMost Corrupt Governments: 7,926thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 8,007thMost Devout: 8,376thMost Stationary: 8,833rdLongest Average Lifespans: 9,919thTop
Most Advanced Public Transport: 10,702ndMost Advanced Public Education: 11,795thLargest Governments: 12,939thMost Subsidized Industry: 13,932ndHealthiest Citizens: 14,596thSafest: 14,842ndHighest Economic Output: 15,075thMost Developed: 16,751stMost Authoritarian: 17,473rdLargest Populations: 18,543rd
Most Influential: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3rd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 6th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 6th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 6th in the regionMost Devout: 6th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 7th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 8th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 8th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 8th in the regionTop
Most Authoritarian: 11th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 11th in the regionBest Weather: 12th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 15th in the regionMost Conservative: 15th in the region

National Happenings

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