The Holy Republic of North Bratislava is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Old Saxophone Joe with a fair hand, and remarkable for its aversion to nipples, national health service, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 8.158 billion North Bratislavans love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The large, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dinkytown. The average income tax rate is 97.7%.

The frighteningly efficient North Bratislavan economy, worth a remarkable 1,578 trillion pounds a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 193,452 pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Listless juries are assembled for the simplest of court cases, school teachers check the staff room for hidden webcams before complaining about rebellious students, nudity is frowned upon, and East Lebatuckese astronauts' favorite game during downtime on the Multinational Space Station is 'I Spy'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. North Bratislava's national animal is the bison, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Bratislavan Orthodoxy.

North Bratislava is ranked 2,481^st in the world and 144^th in The North Pacific for Highest Poor Incomes, with 169,926.11 Standard Monetary Units.