The People's Republic of Novi Loslakia is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Chairman Vladimir Golyak with an even hand, and renowned for its daily referendums, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The quiet, industrious population of 12.902 billion Loslakians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kilow. The average income tax rate is 75.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but sluggish Loslakian economy, worth 291 trillion Rubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Soda Sales. Average income is 22,594 Rubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

School uniforms are compulsory, Novi Loslakia has designated Kilow as its capital city, Chairman Vladimir Golyak has just been declared ruler of Novi Loslakia in an international press conference, and Loslakian Orthodox has been named as Novi Loslakia's national religion. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Novi Loslakia's national animal is the Eagle, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities, and its national religion is Loslakian Orthodox.

Novi Loslakia is ranked 267,939^th in the world and 30^th in The New Confederacy of Nations for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring -8.83 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.