The Filthy Green Republic of Old Spinnery is a gargantuan, efficient nation, notable for its museums and concert halls, aversion to nipples, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 17.295 billion Oldies are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Complex. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 17.8%.

The powerhouse Old Spinneryian economy, worth a remarkable 1,864 trillion quinces a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Soda Sales, Arms Manufacturing, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is an impressive 107,823 quinces, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 319,646 per year while the poor average 28,550, a ratio of 11.2 to 1.

Citizens who leave the country are officially classed as traitors, last minute own-goals raise the suspicious eyebrows of sporting authorities, restaurateurs put a lot of effort into persuading customers to accept wafer-thin mints, and charity distribution sites are regularly raided by the police. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Old Spinnery's national animal is the octopus, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Old Spinnery is ranked 122,721^st in the world and 10^th in T2R for Lowest Crime Rates, with 63.44 law-abiding acts per hour.