The United Columnists of Page 53 is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Editor-in-chief Jane Doe with a fair hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, sprawling nuclear power plants, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 2.404 billion Readers hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, liberal government is primarily concerned with Education, although Healthcare, Administration, and Environment are also considered important, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Paragraph 2. The average income tax rate is 79.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Page 53ian economy, worth 202 trillion Units a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 84,429 Units, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication, the military recognizes no difference between male and female soldiers, evasive politicians don't fail to strongly commit to not committing to a course of non-inaction, and prudishness is on the way out. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Page 53's national animal is the Drone, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Page 53 is ranked 209,747^th in the world and 6,742^nd in the South Pacific for Most Armed, with 0.19 Weapons Per Person.