The Republic of Palancia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Henry Franklin with an even hand, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, punitive income tax rates, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 6.621 billion Palancians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Oxford. The average income tax rate is 71.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Palancian economy, worth 417 trillion Imperial Credits a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing and Woodchip Exports. Average income is 63,112 Imperial Credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Belligerent citizens shoot at passing clouds for 'violating their airspace', schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students, genetic research has been halted, and ethnic minorities are often refused admission to some of the nation's best schools. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Palancia's national animal is the Dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Christianity.

Palancia is ranked 120,850^th in the world and 45^th in New Western Empire for Most Primitive, scoring -47.09 on the Scary Big Number Scale.