The Principality of Pity is a colossal, efficient nation, renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, deadly medical pandemics, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, cheerful population of 5.04 billion Pityians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business government is primarily concerned with Industry, although Defense, Healthcare, and Welfare are also considered important, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 66.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Pityian economy, worth a remarkable 1,621 trillion Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Retail, Soda Sales, Gambling, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 321,769 Dollars, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,631,584 per year while the poor average 8,431, a ratio of 312 to 1.

Jail house rock has been replaced with jail house golden oldies, Jack Russells have proven to be terrible spies, there's more vermin than ever on the metro, and adult unemployment is rising as available jobs are filled by young children. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Pity's national animal is the Python, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Pity is ranked 3,446^th in the world and 147^th in Poetry for Most Patriotic, with 91.85 flags saluted per person per day.