by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 616th Largest Agricultural Sector: 700th Lowest Crime Rates: 890th
The Empire of
Psychotic Dictatorship Fascist Dictatorship
next person to mention me is getting killed
Influence
Shoeshiner
Region
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Pol-Lithuania

Population3.479 billion

CapitalWarsaw
LeaderKacper Sobieski
FaithChristianity

CurrencyZłoty
AnimalWhite Eagle

The Empire of Pol-Lithuania is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Kacper Sobieski with an iron fist, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, infamous sell-swords, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.479 billion Poles are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Warsaw. The average income tax rate is 97.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Polish economy, worth 813 trillion Złoties a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Trout Farming. Average income is an amazing 233,945 Złoties, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.7 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens often ask "what has information technology ever done for us?", vaccinations are mandatory, 10-year-olds who struggle with integrating by parts are considered slow learners, and exorbitant spending on icebreakers breaks the ice at every budget meeting. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pol-Lithuania's national animal is the White Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Christianity.

Pol-Lithuania is ranked 15,026th in the world and 20th in Nazi Europa for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 5,337.64 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 616thLargest Agricultural Sector: 700thLowest Crime Rates: 890thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,447thTop
5%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 1,886thLargest Governments: 2,008thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,064thMost Devout: 2,092ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,317thHighest Average Tax Rates: 2,410thHighest Average Incomes: 3,578thMost Authoritarian: 4,588thSmartest Citizens: 4,729thHealthiest Citizens: 5,249thMost Conservative: 5,461stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 5,531stMost Advanced Public Education: 6,369thHighest Poor Incomes: 6,440thMost Beautiful Environments: 6,630thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 7,665thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 8,020thTop
10%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 8,526thMost Subsidized Industry: 8,567thMost Efficient Economies: 9,368thLargest Mining Sector: 9,545thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 9,686thMost Scientifically Advanced: 10,006thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 10,073rdMost Extreme: 11,472ndLargest Publishing Industry: 12,051stMost Cultured: 12,763rdMost Developed: 13,109thMost Advanced Public Transport: 14,444thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 14,522ndLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 15,026thLargest Information Technology Sector: 15,740th
Top
5%
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Authoritarian: 3rd in the regionTop
10%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 4th in the regionMost Extreme: 4th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 5th in the regionMost Conservative: 6th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 6th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 7th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Pol-Lithuania, exorbitant spending on icebreakers breaks the ice at every budget meeting.
  • : Following new legislation in Pol-Lithuania, 10-year-olds who struggle with integrating by parts are considered slow learners.
  • : Following new legislation in Pol-Lithuania, vaccinations are mandatory.
  • : Following new legislation in Pol-Lithuania, citizens often ask "what has information technology ever done for us?".
  • : Following new legislation in Pol-Lithuania, the government is suspected of mass disappearing dissidents both at home and abroad.
  • : Following new legislation in Pol-Lithuania, the local custom of Biking With The Cars sends tourists home bemused or in body-bags.
  • : Following new legislation in Pol-Lithuania, several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation.
  • : Following new legislation in Pol-Lithuania, the police crack down on tax evaders without mercy.
  • : Following new legislation in Pol-Lithuania, roads are often attended by round-the-clock construction crews.
  • : Following new legislation in Pol-Lithuania, teen boys and girls find stick-figure-aided lectures on their comradestruation emphasises socialist unity more than biology.

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