by Max Barry

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Largest Soda Pop Sector: 3,972ndLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 6,930thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 7,747th
The Commonwealth of
Capitalizt Self-Congratulatory Merchant Bankers
Foedere et Religione Tenemur
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Very Good

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population495 million


The Commonwealth of Portugaela is a huge, cultured nation, renowned for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 495 million Portugaelans enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The tiny, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Healthcare, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 6.5%.

The strong Portugaelan economy, worth 35.7 trillion Euros a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Soda Sales industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Pizza Delivery, and Information Technology. Average income is 72,091 Euros, with the richest citizens earning 9.2 times as much as the poorest.

Group photos of the members of parliament are often mistaken for family reunions, the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy, it is illegal for a parent to tell a child to stop eating their boogers, and citizens need a magnifying glass and color chart to distinguish between nearly identical brand labels. Crime, especially youth-related, is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Portugaela's national animal is the Cardinal.

Portugaela is ranked 190,348th in the world and 8,536th in The East Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 44.05 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.

Largest Soda Pop Sector: 3,972ndLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 6,930thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 7,747thTop
Most Rebellious Youth: 10,608thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 15,154thHighest Disposable Incomes: 18,316thMost Devout: 18,592ndHighest Crime Rates: 18,791stLargest Agricultural Sector: 20,586th
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 84th in the regionTop
Most Rebellious Youth: 225th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 301st in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 440th in the regionTop
Most Devout: 630th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 635th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 676th in the regionRudest Citizens: 678th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 705th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 742nd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 772nd in the regionMost Cultured: 822nd in the regionNudest: 845th in the region

National Happenings

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