The Protectorate of Pylonous is a massive, safe nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, frequent executions, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 4.86 billion Pylonousians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Law & Order, and Spirituality. The average income tax rate is 11.9%.

The strong Pylonousian economy, worth 278 trillion guilders a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 57,249 guilders, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.4 times as much as the poorest.

Protestors are soaking piles of guilders in blood to make a point about government incomes, religious bigotry and a fear of outsiders have replaced religious studies in schools, maximum security fish farms leave caged salmon pining for the fjords, and the newest shade developed by Pylonous's dye industry has been dubbed 'Agent Orange'. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Pylonous's national animal is the squirrel, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Pylonous is ranked 157,321^st in the world and 29^th in Byzantine Christendom for Lowest Crime Rates, with 60.39 law-abiding acts per hour.