The Caribbean Royal Dependency of Saint Aldhelm Islands is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Premier Sir Edward Windsor with an even hand, and renowned for its national health service, restrictive gun laws, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 28.448 billion Saint Aldhelmers have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The minute government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Education, with Environment and Industry also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Law & Order are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lancaster. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Saint Aldhelm Islandsian economy, worth a remarkable 5,649 trillion St Aldhelm RC£s a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Retail, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 198,581 St Aldhelm RC£s, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.8 times as much as the poorest.

Nose plugs are the latest Saint Aldhelm Islandsian fashion accessory, most ambassadors from Saint Aldhelm Islands retire only a few years after being appointed, metal detectors have been banned after a bottle cap caused a riot at the beach, and mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest-growing field. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Saint Aldhelm Islands's national animal is the starfish, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Saint Aldhelm Islands is ranked 71,307^th in the world and 5^th in House of Lancaster of Wessex for Lowest Crime Rates, with 69.88 law-abiding acts per hour.