The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 128 is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Noah with an iron fist, and notable for its complete lack of prisons, aversion to nipples, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.546 billion Second Best Puppet 128ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 88.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 128ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,219 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Retail, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 186,350 cards, with the richest citizens earning 7.5 times as much as the poorest.

Stolen Reuben sandwiches are met with detailed and thorough police investigations, Second Best Puppet 128ian soldiers know how to create single mothers in more ways than one, some voters are required to show a minimum of four forms of identification, and minefields are being deployed along the border to discourage potential emigrants from trying to leave. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 128's national animal is the legendary, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Second Best Puppet 128 is ranked 13,565^th in the world and 534^th in Two for Lowest Crime Rates, with 95.8 law-abiding acts per hour.