by Max Barry

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Largest Insurance Industry: 54thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 75thLargest Agricultural Sector: 94th
The Battered Civil War Zone of
Corporate Police State Halliburton
Oh! So THAT'S what it does!
SHIELD Director Phil Coulson
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population13.741 billion

CapitalTriskelion City
LeaderSHIELD Director Phil Coulson
FaithAnti-HYDRA Sentimentality Initiative

CurrencyCaptain America trading card
AnimalWilson's falcon

The Battered Civil War Zone of SHIELD HQ is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by SHIELD Director Phil Coulson with an iron fist, and remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, enslaved workforce, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 13.741 billion SHIELD Agents are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry, Law & Order, and Spirituality also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Triskelion City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 92.7%.

The frighteningly efficient a SHIELD Agent economy, worth a remarkable 8,097 trillion Captain America trading cards a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is a breathtaking 589,286 Captain America trading cards, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 4,115,164 per year while the poor average 29,122, a ratio of 141 to 1.

Business owners who refuse to hire ex-cons often wake up with a Wilson's falcon's head in their bed, new safety regulations require all cars manufactured in SHIELD HQ to be bombproof, main battle tanks stalk the woods of SHIELD HQ in search of Wilson's falcons, and GP clinics are inundated by patients requesting prescriptions for alcohol. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. SHIELD HQ's national animal is the Wilson's falcon, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Anti-HYDRA Sentimentality Initiative.

SHIELD HQ is ranked 6,988th in the world and 332nd in Lazarus for Rudest Citizens, with 121.8 Insults Per Minute.

Largest Insurance Industry: 54thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 75thLargest Agricultural Sector: 94thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 131stLargest Black Market: 135thHighest Average Incomes: 144thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 156thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 175thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 189thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 236thMost Devout: 267thLargest Mining Sector: 309thMost Corrupt Governments: 357thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 434thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 445thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 530thMost Subsidized Industry: 555thFattest Citizens: 613thMost Efficient Economies: 673rdHighest Economic Output: 688thLowest Crime Rates: 787thLargest Gambling Industry: 856thMost Avoided: 986thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 994thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,073rdLargest Governments: 1,084thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1,317thLargest Retail Industry: 1,443rdLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,638thMost Advanced Public Transport: 1,833rdTop
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 2,596thMost Ignorant Citizens: 2,753rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3,565thLargest Information Technology Sector: 4,357thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 5,395thHighest Average Tax Rates: 6,323rdRudest Citizens: 6,988thMost Scientifically Advanced: 7,265thMost Conservative: 7,385thTop
Largest Populations: 16,780thLargest Publishing Industry: 18,519th
Largest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 6th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 6th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 7th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 8th in the regionMost Devout: 9th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 9th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 10th in the regionLargest Black Market: 12th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 12th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 18th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 19th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 21st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 25th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 26th in the regionFattest Citizens: 27th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 28th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 31st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 41st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 42nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 43rd in the regionMost Avoided: 48th in the regionLargest Governments: 55th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 56th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 64th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 73rd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 73rd in the regionTop
Most Advanced Public Transport: 122nd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 140th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 144th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 154th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 199th in the regionMost Conservative: 237th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 284th in the regionRudest Citizens: 332nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 345th in the regionTop
Most Scientifically Advanced: 383rd in the regionLargest Populations: 530th in the regionMost Extreme: 541st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : SHIELD HQ's influence in Lazarus rose from "Unproven" to "Hatchling".
  • : SHIELD HQ's influence in Lazarus rose from "Zero" to "Unproven".
  • : SHIELD HQ was refounded in Lazarus.
  • : SHIELD HQ ceased to exist in Lazarus.
  • : SHIELD HQ's influence in Lazarus rose from "Unproven" to "Hatchling".
  • : SHIELD HQ's influence in Lazarus rose from "Zero" to "Unproven".
  • : SHIELD HQ was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Highest Unexpected Death Rate and Most Ignorant Citizens and the Top 10% for Most Advanced Public Education.
  • : SHIELD HQ was refounded in Lazarus.
  • : SHIELD HQ ceased to exist in Lazarus.
  • : SHIELD HQ was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Advanced Public Transport.


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