by Max Barry

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Most World Assembly Endorsements: 2,195thMost Influential: 3,335thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 4,588th
The Church of
Iron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors
Twirling Toward Freedom
Influence
Page
Civil Rights
Rare
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Slongs

Population12.215 billion

CapitalKongo
LeaderThe great Dong
FaithBarfighting

CurrencyBag of Gold
AnimalPet rock

The Church of Slongs is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The great Dong with an iron fist, and renowned for its triple-decker prams, avowedly heterosexual populace, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 12.215 billion Slongsians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kongo. The average income tax rate is 85.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Slongsian economy, worth a remarkable 1,488 trillion Bags of Gold a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 121,857 Bags of Gold, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Slongs has been recently classified as an international menace after 'liberating' several nearby territories, several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation, diplomacy falls apart when diplomats drink too much, and twins move across the country to avoid being accused of the other's crimes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Slongs's national animal is the Pet rock, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Barfighting.

Slongs is ranked 13,892nd in the world and 335th in The East Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 104 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.

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Most World Assembly Endorsements: 2,195thTop
5%
Most Influential: 3,335thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 4,588thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 7,891stMost Beautiful Environments: 9,813thBest Weather: 12,152ndMost Stationary: 12,180thMost Valuable International Artwork: 12,220thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 12,722ndMost Developed: 12,900thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 13,177thHighest Average Tax Rates: 13,630thMost Cultured: 13,892ndLongest Average Lifespans: 14,123rdMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 14,271stMost Patriotic: 15,072ndTop
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Most Advanced Public Education: 17,468thHighest Economic Output: 17,944thHighest Poor Incomes: 18,121stLargest Governments: 18,619thMost Authoritarian: 19,178thMost Corrupt Governments: 21,204thLargest Welfare Programs: 21,587thLargest Publishing Industry: 22,011thMost Subsidized Industry: 23,931stHighest Food Quality: 24,167thLowest Crime Rates: 24,469thMost Advanced Public Transport: 25,159thSmartest Citizens: 25,480thLargest Black Market: 26,086thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 26,668th
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Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 139th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 155th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 168th in the regionMost Influential: 174th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 192nd in the regionMost Stationary: 207th in the regionLargest Black Market: 257th in the regionMost Patriotic: 260th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 268th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 271st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 286th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 292nd in the regionTop
10%
Highest Average Tax Rates: 316th in the regionBest Weather: 325th in the regionMost Cultured: 335th in the regionMost Developed: 337th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 344th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 363rd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 374th in the regionLargest Governments: 384th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 393rd in the regionLargest Populations: 426th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 435th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 437th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 463rd in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 466th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 468th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 495th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 523rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 547th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 551st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 561st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Slongs, twins move across the country to avoid being accused of the other's crimes.
  • : Following new legislation in Slongs, diplomacy falls apart when diplomats drink too much.
  • : Following new legislation in Slongs, several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation.
  • : Slongs voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "Commend Yohannes"".
  • : Slongs voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Ban on Sexual Abuse of Animals".
  • : Slongs endorsed The Shining Dawn Light of Langburn.
  • : Slongs endorsed The Kingdom of Konyai.
  • : Slongs was endorsed by The Kingdom of Konyai.
  • : Slongs was endorsed by The Shining Dawn Light of Langburn.
  • : Following new legislation in Slongs, Slongs has been recently classified as an international menace after 'liberating' several nearby territories.

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