by Max Barry

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Safest: 3rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 22ndLowest Crime Rates: 44th
The Republic of
Authoritarian Democracy Mouth-Breathing Creationists
Motto
Influence
Truckler
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Good

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Softest Kittens

Population8.122 billion

Currencycurrency
Animalanimal

The Republic of Softest Kittens is a colossal, safe nation, remarkable for its frequent executions, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, humorless population of 8.122 billion Softest Kittensians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, moralistic, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Education. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Softest Kittensian economy, worth a remarkable 1,935 trillion currencies a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Basket Weaving. Average income is an amazing 238,318 currencies, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Foreign policy is to avoid standing up to bullies, too many developers spoil the codebase, prison walls have had to be modified to keep parkour-trained criminals from escaping, and every week is blindness awareness week. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Softest Kittens's national animal is the animal, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Softest Kittens is ranked 342,361st in the world and 53rd in Vickenian experiment incubator for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -16.37 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.

Top
1%
Safest: 3rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 22ndLowest Crime Rates: 44thLeast Corrupt Governments: 62ndMost Pacifist: 108thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 181stMost Advanced Public Education: 230thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 239thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 277thHighest Average Tax Rates: 282ndMost Compassionate Citizens: 429thLargest Governments: 451stLargest Welfare Programs: 533rdBest Weather: 621stMost Developed: 679thLongest Average Lifespans: 726thNicest Citizens: 761stMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 827thMost Beautiful Environments: 927thHealthiest Citizens: 1,149thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,569thSmartest Citizens: 1,697thMost Income Equality: 2,665thTop
5%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 4,130thHighest Average Incomes: 6,443rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 6,805thMost Efficient Economies: 7,171stMost Advanced Public Transport: 8,083rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 9,331stMost Inclusive: 9,867thMost Subsidized Industry: 13,748thHighest Economic Output: 14,889thHighest Food Quality: 14,909thNudest: 16,026thMost Secular: 16,186thTop
10%
Largest Information Technology Sector: 19,617thMost Conservative: 25,966thMost Authoritarian: 27,266th
Top
5%
Safest: 1st in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 2nd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 2nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionTop
10%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 4th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 4th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 4th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 4th in the regionMost Pacifist: 5th in the regionLargest Governments: 5th in the regionMost Developed: 5th in the regionMost Income Equality: 6th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Softest Kittens, every week is blindness awareness week.
  • : Following new legislation in Softest Kittens, prison walls have had to be modified to keep parkour-trained criminals from escaping.
  • : Following new legislation in Softest Kittens, too many developers spoil the codebase.
  • : Following new legislation in Softest Kittens, foreign policy is to avoid standing up to bullies.
  • : Following new legislation in Softest Kittens, battlefield gains are quickly lost when enemies don't respect a time-out.
  • : Following new legislation in Softest Kittens, the banhammer is a standard police sidearm.
  • : Following new legislation in Softest Kittens, when people ask what the difference is between politicians and lawyers they are referred to document c15(iv) section 14.1 subsection 3.2 of the Jan 2015 political category definition guidance codes.
  • : Following new legislation in Softest Kittens, schoolchildren on field trips are asked what torture means to them.
  • : Following new legislation in Softest Kittens, sheepish teenagers are making eye contact with their parents for the first time in a decade during state-enforced 'no-phones hour'.
  • : Following new legislation in Softest Kittens, time flies when you're not having fun.

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