The Dominion of Southern Patriots is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Duke Ian Smith Friedle with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, strictly enforced bedtime, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, democratic population of 31.596 billion Suthesians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The relatively small government is primarily concerned with Education, with Industry and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cecilburg. The average income tax rate is 4.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Suthesian economy, worth a remarkable 4,458 trillion Blackledgic pounds a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 141,117 Blackledgic pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Duke Ian Smith Friedle's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week, orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents, sexually-starved male dinosaurs terrorise tourists during weekly breakouts from Mesozoic Park, and Duke Ian Smith Friedle's Twitcher account is typically used to share Sable antelope memes rather than government policy. Crime is totally unknown. Southern Patriots's national animal is the Sable antelope, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Faith of Blæclæc.

Southern Patriots is ranked 153,610^th in the world and 1^st in South Rhodesia for Lowest Crime Rates, with 60.73 law-abiding acts per hour.