by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 605thMost Pacifist: 4,615thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 6,019th
The United Socialist States of
New York Times Democracy Corporate-Dominated Sham Democracy
Peace, love, and logic can help us.
Influence
Sprat
Civil Rights
Excellent
Economy
Thriving
Political Freedom
Superb

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Teskyla

Population564 million

CapitalTelan

Currencyteskan
AnimalChimpanzee

The United Socialist States of Teskyla is a huge, cultured nation, renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, ban on automobiles, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, democratic population of 564 million Teskylans enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Telan. The average income tax rate is 71.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Teskylan economy, worth 46.3 trillion teskans a year, is quite specialized and led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 82,080 teskans, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Factories grind to a halt every time there is an election, picnickers are lucky if a few wasps are the only animals that trouble them, the poor are forced into bankruptcy by their energy bills, and Leader's peyote-induced "let's all just be friends" speech is trending world-wide. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Teskyla's national animal is the Chimpanzee, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Teskyla is ranked 18,788th in the world and 539th in The East Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 81.45 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.

Top
1%
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 605thTop
5%
Most Pacifist: 4,615thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 6,019thLargest Welfare Programs: 6,503rdSafest: 6,830thNicest Citizens: 8,327thMost Cheerful Citizens: 8,358thMost Compassionate Citizens: 8,689thLeast Corrupt Governments: 8,828thMost Influential: 9,052ndHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 9,339thTop
10%
Most Inclusive: 13,745thHighest Drug Use: 13,872ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 14,315thLongest Average Lifespans: 16,265thBest Weather: 16,489thHealthiest Citizens: 16,762ndMost Advanced Public Education: 18,319thMost Valuable International Artwork: 18,726thLowest Crime Rates: 18,788thMost Secular: 18,821stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 19,100th
Top
1%
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 37th in the regionTop
5%
Most Pacifist: 153rd in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 156th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 198th in the regionSafest: 208th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 226th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 233rd in the regionNicest Citizens: 243rd in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 254th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 292nd in the regionMost Inclusive: 411th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 427th in the regionTop
10%
Longest Average Lifespans: 465th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 475th in the regionMost Influential: 478th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 479th in the regionBest Weather: 496th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 530th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 538th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 539th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 587th in the regionMost Cultured: 603rd in the regionMost Secular: 638th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 663rd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 687th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 693rd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 735th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 821st in the regionLargest Governments: 841st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 848th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Teskyla, Leader's peyote-induced "let's all just be friends" speech is trending world-wide.
  • : Following new legislation in Teskyla, the poor are forced into bankruptcy by their energy bills.
  • : Following new legislation in Teskyla, picnickers are lucky if a few wasps are the only animals that trouble them.
  • : Following new legislation in Teskyla, factories grind to a halt every time there is an election.
  • : Following new legislation in Teskyla, centuries-old legal documents detailing agnatic-cognatic gavelkind succession are being dusted off again.
  • : Teskyla was endorsed by The RP God n Vizier dubbed Dylan of Staynes.
  • : Following new legislation in Teskyla, neighboring nations are tired of Teskyla's big fish stories.
  • : Following new legislation in Teskyla, blackface performers claim they are being deliberately ironic.
  • : Teskyla endorsed The RP God n Vizier dubbed Dylan of Staynes.
  • : Following new legislation in Teskyla, light entertainment isn't dead.

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