by Max Barry

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Most World Assembly Endorsements: 848th Most Influential: 1,253rd Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,288th
The Dictatorship of
Psychotic Dictatorship Fascist Dictatorship
Government Knows Best!
Tsar Clouseau
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population11.004 billion

LeaderTsar Clouseau
FaithPink Panther-ism


The Dictatorship of Tessau is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Tsar Clouseau with an iron fist, and renowned for its sprawling nuclear power plants, ubiquitous missile silos, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 11.004 billion Pencil-Pushers are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dresden. The average income tax rate is 93.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Tessauan economy, worth 498 trillion Silvers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing and Information Technology. Average income is 45,269 Silvers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

The men in trenchcoats hanging around playgrounds are actually police officers, courses in how to boil water are popular for formerly microwave-reliant Pencil-Pushers, healthcare workers are flummoxed over the spike in foreign tourists with sudden-onset heart disease, and Brancaland has gifted over nine thousand putrid moose carcasses to Tessau as a reminder of their "special relationship". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tessau's national animal is the Ghost, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Pink Panther-ism.

Tessau is ranked 60,164th in the world and 3,286th in The North Pacific for Most Income Equality, scoring 42.14 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 848thMost Influential: 1,253rdTop
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,288thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 4,766thLowest Crime Rates: 4,808thHighest Average Tax Rates: 5,357thMost Corrupt Governments: 5,708thMost Beautiful Environments: 8,306thTop
Most Stationary: 8,670thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 9,448thBest Weather: 9,527thMost Authoritarian: 9,639thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 10,170thLargest Governments: 10,533rdHealthiest Citizens: 10,691stLongest Average Lifespans: 15,714thMost Pacifist: 16,144th
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 109th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 171st in the regionMost Stationary: 212th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 217th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 224th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 257th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 341st in the regionLargest Populations: 364th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 442nd in the regionTop
Most Influential: 491st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 510th in the regionLargest Governments: 515th in the regionBest Weather: 520th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 557th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 566th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 572nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 845th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 164 » Notyoutopia, Selfgradatude, Guslantis, Sunto, Frances Francis the First of France, Corfad, Yaorozu, Xentherida, Unimaginable Doom, Shadowrik, Avalon, Holy Oranz, Calamazo, Gorinchem and Hoog-Hoornaar, Democratic Peoples Republic of the US, Wineclaw, Siwale, Malta Comino Gozo, Pallaith, Kwaj, General COE, Shin-Hachioji, Diodone, Yukti, Kelvaros Prime, Buckerino, The Iron Lions, Cloydicia, Moubarakistan, Universal State Formula, Amerian States, PlanetPunk, Territorio di Nessuno, Ainsworth, Maott, Eglise Sainte Eve, Puczovska, Atain, Ozstan, Q w e r t y, Shibutani, Lower Nubia, Northern Glory, Former English Colony, Koda-Land, Highton Islands, The Gamer Party, Whereisthatistan, Sacrento, Zeternia, and 114 others.United Draconia, Empy, Ethnon, El Fiji Grande, Dar es Saalam, Amestris-Britannia, Wilkshire, Yubadai, Pasargad, The Rhein States, Ostrolia, The Most Freedom Ever, New Bremerton, New Pruessen, Spartoptia, SORT, Sinelona, Valhalla123, North Bratislava, Vincone Cae, Omnistria, Unsophisticate, Napnomadia, Bearical, Hong Kong Empire, Black Templares, Lunallian, Dreadton, Ninjak30, Outer Egorniand, Federation Terra Australis, The Windmilluminati, Amauri, Guer Aike, Alunya, Steraz, The Sinclarian Provinces, Niradans, Votak Matim, Egalico, Solmetria, Joodey, Torakuen, Ibiscaton, Saturns Edge, Steampunk Ariel, Zemnaya Svoboda, Jasminlandia, Plangainer, Trillius, Victoriaans Nederlands, Ikea Rike, Aratani, Destructive Government Endorsing System, Noahs Second Country, Loutsland, Test for a new hope, Alpinea, GRANDE IMPERIO ORIENTAL PAGAO EUDUARDO, Elder Realms, Haor Chall, Constantinolia, Astrind, Kobagia, Xzavia-Hjar, Glurponia, Penrith, Runeda, Utopicican, Orado, Daiz, Seenvorland, Concordare, The Tampa Bay Rays, Sockmanland, Duerrlewang, Makersaulache, Cuyan, New Octicarg, McMasterdonia, Orven, The Stratosphere Islands, Juggernautilus, Racoda, Ponantine, Kasazzastan, Eri-Maqa-Ena, Sundred, Sil Dorsett, Great Bights Mum, Zumlandia, Nakayo, Wisconsota, Gnomewatchers, The Nation that will win Soops for 9003, 1 very fast endotarter, Potestasia, Kaschovia, Eteles, Angshire, Miruma, United Kahndaq, Kranostav, PotatoFarmers, Loli County, Nothru Lerple, Pazair, Newpromisedland, Clan Spaniel, Dabarastan, Viridiann, Afcon, Zyvetskistaahn, and Opstan.

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