The Republic of Tessen is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by President Josiah Colton with an even hand, and notable for its triple-decker prams, aversion to nipples, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cheerful, devout population of 41.913 billion Tessens have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Liberty. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 33.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Tessen economy, worth an astonishing 15,832 trillion dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 377,745 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 7.5 times as much as the poorest.

The government's new "quiet competence" initiative has supporters and detractors alike reeling in confusion, atheists on vacation find the Lutheran Church's scriptures make useful doorstops, public projects are synonymous with yawn-inducing conformity, and autopsies often involve only cursory examination. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tessen's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is the Lutheran Church.

Tessen is ranked 276^th in the world and 1^st in American Union for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring 24,857.22 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.