The Empire of Teutonic Kaiserreich is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Kaiser Werner I with an iron fist, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, public floggings, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical population of 2.692 billion Kaiserians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Preußen. The average income tax rate is 92.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Kaiserian economy, worth 422 trillion goldmarks a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 156,787 goldmarks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Any body part that can be cut off a person is no longer considered to be their property, weighted heels are added to military boots to ensure diminutive celebrities meet minimum requirements, Max Barry is this year's Miss Teutonic Kaiserreich, and warfare increasingly resembles a video game. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Teutonic Kaiserreich's national animal is the imperial eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Cult of the Kaiser.

Teutonic Kaiserreich is ranked 13,402^nd in the world and 69^th in Europeia for Most Advanced Defense Forces, scoring 7,575.28 on the Total War Preparedness Rating.