by Max Barry

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Most Valuable International Artwork: 1,052ndLowest Crime Rates: 1,256thLongest Average Lifespans: 1,752nd
The House Emoticonius of
Corrupt Dictatorship Well-Meaning Dictatorship
It's too bad stupidity isn't painful.
Magus L
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

The Church of Satan

Population15.761 billion

CapitalThe Decompression Chamber
LeaderMagus L


The House Emoticonius of The Church of Satan is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Magus L with an iron fist, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, anti-smoking policies, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 15.761 billion Satanians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Decompression Chamber. The average income tax rate is 97.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Satanian economy, worth a remarkable 2,967 trillion Greeds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 188,271 Greeds, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Babysitters are a thing of the past, stone wrist watches that weigh 20lb are the latest trend, the regional delicacy of chocolate bombes is deadlier than an unexploded bomb, and politicians frequently make unusual poses during speeches in hopes of inspiring the next internet fad. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Church of Satan's national animal is the Sin, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Satanism.

The Church of Satan is ranked 110,176th in the world and 2,840th in the Rejected Realms for Largest Mining Sector, scoring 1,172.2 on the Blue Sky Asbestos Index.

Most Valuable International Artwork: 1,052ndLowest Crime Rates: 1,256thLongest Average Lifespans: 1,752ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,763rdMost Subsidized Industry: 1,870thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,932ndMost Advanced Public Transport: 1,970thTop
Healthiest Citizens: 2,272ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,300thHighest Poor Incomes: 2,554thHighest Average Tax Rates: 2,576thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,833rdLargest Governments: 3,168thLargest Black Market: 3,459thMost Cultured: 3,666thMost Efficient Economies: 3,704thMost Advanced Public Education: 3,774thMost Developed: 4,077thHighest Economic Output: 4,202ndMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 4,967thMost Scientifically Advanced: 5,194thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 6,050thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 6,400thLargest Welfare Programs: 7,137thHighest Average Incomes: 7,437thMost Beautiful Environments: 7,851stSmartest Citizens: 8,436thLargest Information Technology Sector: 9,026thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 9,837thTop
Most Influential: 10,615thLargest Populations: 11,660thMost Secular: 12,404thLargest Agricultural Sector: 15,806thBest Weather: 17,072ndMost Income Equality: 19,420th
Most Valuable International Artwork: 32nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 39th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 50th in the regionTop
Most Advanced Public Transport: 58th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 64th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 68th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 68th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 70th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 72nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 74th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 81st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 87th in the regionLargest Governments: 88th in the regionMost Cultured: 97th in the regionLargest Black Market: 99th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 99th in the regionMost Developed: 107th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 111th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 116th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 128th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 134th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 142nd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 166th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 184th in the regionMost Influential: 188th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 197th in the regionLargest Populations: 199th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 210th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 210th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 221st in the regionTop
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 275th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 344th in the regionBest Weather: 372nd in the regionMost Secular: 376th in the regionMost Income Equality: 418th in the regionMost Inclusive: 442nd in the regionNudest: 475th in the region

National Happenings

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