The House Emoticonius of The Church of Satan is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Magus L with an iron fist, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, anti-smoking policies, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 15.761 billion Satanians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Decompression Chamber. The average income tax rate is 97.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Satanian economy, worth a remarkable 2,967 trillion Greeds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 188,271 Greeds, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Babysitters are a thing of the past, stone wrist watches that weigh 20lb are the latest trend, the regional delicacy of chocolate bombes is deadlier than an unexploded bomb, and politicians frequently make unusual poses during speeches in hopes of inspiring the next internet fad. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Church of Satan's national animal is the Sin, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Satanism.

The Church of Satan is ranked 110,176^th in the world and 2,840^th in the Rejected Realms for Largest Mining Sector, scoring 1,172.2 on the Blue Sky Asbestos Index.