by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 137thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,550thMost Secular: 2,244th
The Holy Empire of
Iron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors
Hail the Emperor
Influence
Shoeshiner
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Thriving
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Nuke Control Cards

The Mystic Mine

Population781 million

CapitalJuraegg

CurrencyJurraegg
AnimalMiscellaneousaurus

The Holy Empire of The Mystic Mine is a huge, orderly nation, remarkable for its triple-decker prams, parental licensing program, and lack of airports. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 781 million Mystic Miners are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Juraegg. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 74.8%.

The thriving Mystic Minean economy, worth 87.9 trillion Jurraeggs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Trout Farming, Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 112,549 Jurraeggs, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 330,244 per year while the poor average 30,237, a ratio of 10.9 to 1.

The only places to see Miscellaneousauruses now are at local zoos, if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it... Mystic Minean satellites can detect it, arthritic citizens seem underrepresented at royal meet-and-greets, and colonial citizens are forced to sing the praise of the "Great Mystic Minean Liberator". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Mystic Mine's national animal is the Miscellaneousaurus, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

The Mystic Mine is ranked 66,712th in the world and 212th in Confederation of Corrupt Dictators for Highest Poor Incomes, with 30,237.21 Standard Monetary Units.

Top
1%
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 137thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,550thMost Secular: 2,244thTop
5%
Most Corrupt Governments: 4,362ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4,428thNudest: 6,483rdMost Conservative: 6,517thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 6,945thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 8,983rdMost Authoritarian: 10,079thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 10,856thLowest Crime Rates: 10,884thTop
10%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 11,553rdLargest Black Market: 12,269thMost Advanced Public Education: 12,840thMost Beautiful Environments: 13,818thLargest Agricultural Sector: 14,574thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 15,415thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 15,962ndBest Weather: 19,165thMost Influential: 19,199thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 19,329thLargest Governments: 20,571stLongest Average Lifespans: 20,693rdHighest Average Tax Rates: 20,720thHealthiest Citizens: 22,292nd
Top
1%
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Nudest: 13th in the regionTop
10%
Most Secular: 22nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 23rd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 28th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in The Mystic Mine, colonial citizens are forced to sing the praise of the "Great Mystic Minean Liberator".
  • : Following new legislation in The Mystic Mine, arthritic citizens seem underrepresented at royal meet-and-greets.
  • : Following new legislation in The Mystic Mine, if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it... Mystic Minean satellites can detect it.
  • : Following new legislation in The Mystic Mine, the only places to see Miscellaneousauruses now are at local zoos.
  • : The Mystic Mine was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Secular.
  • : Following new legislation in The Mystic Mine, the nation is famous for bravely sending wave after wave of its soldiers until the enemy runs out of bullets.
  • : Following new legislation in The Mystic Mine, amorous nobles always bring the same disappointing gift to weddings.
  • : Following new legislation in The Mystic Mine, trade deals are born to the sound of a royal woman's anguished screams.
  • : Following new legislation in The Mystic Mine, the nation's most popular sport is sabotaging foreigners' hopes and dreams.
  • : Following new legislation in The Mystic Mine, it is common to still see adults with training wheels on their bikes.

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