The Socialist Monarchy of The Narwhalian Republic of the North is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Phil Winthrop II with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory military service, otherworldly petting zoo, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 5.914 billion Narwhalians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Novyy Weblergrad. The average income tax rate is 97.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Narwhalian economy, worth 972 trillion Uraninite Chips a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 164,516 Uraninite Chips, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Phil Winthrop II's iHouse is so intelligent that it manages its own social media accounts, notable individuals are granted land and titles, wars of expansion are described as "peacekeeping operations", and scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Narwhalian Republic of the North's national animal is the Narwhal, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is The Secret Narsonals of Narwhalia.

The Narwhalian Republic of the North is ranked 3,235^th in the world and 6^th in The United Federations for Most Popular Tourist Destinations, with 2,218.82 Tourists Per Hour.