The Democratic Socialist Union of The New Nordic Union is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by the Executive Council of the Union with a fair hand, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 8.909 billion Northerners are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Keypmannahavn. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Nordic economy, worth a remarkable 2,073 trillion Krónas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 232,711 Krónas, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program, the Museum of Blackacrean War Crimes is located on "Blackacre Did Nothing Wrong Avenue", court cases mostly involve lawyers shouting questions at witnesses giving silent shrugs, and young and brooding teens are welcomed with open arms to the Dogwarts School of Strangeness and Sorcery. Crime is totally unknown. The New Nordic Union's national animal is the Dark Bee, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

The New Nordic Union is ranked 199,474^th in the world and 1,023^rd in Europe for Most Primitive, scoring -435.56 on the Scary Big Number Scale.