The United Monarchy of The Poland-Lithuania Commonwealth is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Prime Minister Ela Jasińska with a fair hand, and notable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, unlimited-speed roads, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 8.203 billion Polish-Lithuanians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, liberal, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Environment, Industry, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality and Defense are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kraków. The average income tax rate is 90.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Polish-Lithuanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,678 trillion Złoties a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 204,657 Złoties, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Being Prime Minister Ela Jasińska has been voted one of the top ten most dangerous jobs, politicians tend to speak more loudly and slowly these days, listless juries are assembled for the simplest of court cases, and complaining about Christmas music in October is a ho-ho-horrendous crime. Crime is totally unknown. The Poland-Lithuania Commonwealth's national animal is the White Stork, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Secularism.

The Poland-Lithuania Commonwealth is ranked 175,095^th in the world and 1,090^th in Europe for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 17.76 on the Bus Surprisal Index.