The Republic of The Solar Ottomans is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Shantae Dogan with an even hand, and notable for its closed borders, zero percent divorce rate, and complete absence of social welfare. The devout population of 5.554 billion Ottomans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Istanbul. The average income tax rate is 73.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Turk economy, worth 461 trillion lire a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 83,176 lire, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Doctors prescribe videos of political debates to patients with insomnia, a widely accepted trade policy is "tit-for-tat", glancing at the car radio display while driving is treated as attempted homicide, and if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it... Turk satellites can detect it. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Solar Ottomans's national animal is the wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Islam and Christianity.

The Solar Ottomans is ranked 51,436^th in the world and 1,563^rd in The East Pacific for Most Average, scoring 44.1 on the Average Standardized Normality Scale.