by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 1,848thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 8,352ndSafest: 11,973rd
The Armed Forces of
Iron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors
Hell or Men, we will endure
the High Commander of Armies
Influence
Handshaker
Region
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Very Strong
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

The Velnerian Army

Population7.798 billion

CapitalThyreapolis
Leaderthe High Commander of Armies
Faiththe Holy Primordial Church

Currencyvelne
AnimalRed Phoenix

The Armed Forces of The Velnerian Army is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by the High Commander of Armies with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, ubiquitous missile silos, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 7.798 billion velnerians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Thyreapolis. The average income tax rate is 75.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong velnerian economy, worth 538 trillion velnes a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 69,049 velnes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Fitness to teach sport is proven by urinating the furthest up a wall, the government regularly reassures citizens that there are no monsters under their beds, crowded passenger trains are near-silent save for the soft tap of fingers on touchscreens, and velnerian companies generally just fire employees in lieu of giving them vacation. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Velnerian Army's national animal is the Red Phoenix, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is the Holy Primordial Church.

The Velnerian Army is ranked 52,651st in the world and 15th in Warzone Asia for Smartest Citizens, with 39.49 quips per hour.

Top
1%
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 1,848thTop
5%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 8,352ndSafest: 11,973rdTop
10%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 17,165thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 18,660thHighest Average Tax Rates: 20,349thMost Beautiful Environments: 20,497thMost Advanced Public Education: 23,531stBest Weather: 24,378thLongest Average Lifespans: 24,911thMost Patriotic: 25,102ndMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 26,997th
Top
5%
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 1st in the regionSafest: 2nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : The Velnerian Army was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Popular Tourist Destinations.
  • : The Velnerian Army was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Best Weather.
  • : The Velnerian Army was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Lowest Crime Rates.
  • : The Velnerian Army was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Lowest Crime Rates.
  • : The Velnerian Army was reclassified from "Father Knows Best State" to "Iron Fist Consumerists".
  • : The Velnerian Army was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Lowest Crime Rates.
  • : The Velnerian Army was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Longest Average Lifespans.
  • : The Velnerian Army was reclassified from "Iron Fist Consumerists" to "Father Knows Best State".
  • : The Velnerian Army was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Advanced Public Education.
  • : The Velnerian Army was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Best Weather.

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