The Republic of The Wires Empire is a huge, genial nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, irreverence towards religion, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 487 million Wireans enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rednick. The average income tax rate is 36.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Wirean economy, worth 45.8 trillion Wires a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Arms Manufacturing, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 94,067 Wires, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Foreign policy often involves bullwhips and leather, real estate agencies are being replaced by naval recruitment offices, all marriages are arranged by the government, and the smell of tobacco is often smelt around legislative buildings across the nation. Crime is totally unknown. The Wires Empire's national animal is the Wirean Swamp Toad, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

The Wires Empire is ranked 225,945^th in the world and 741^st in 10000 Islands for Most Primitive, scoring -239.6 on the Scary Big Number Scale.