The Reich of the People of Thorstonia is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Vüerer Warlin Wallace with an iron fist, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, avowedly heterosexual populace, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 6.377 billion Thorstonians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Law & Order, and Healthcare also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Thorsville. The average income tax rate is 77.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Thorstonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,149 trillion Thorsmarks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 180,228 Thorsmarks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Rocket boots and thermal detonators have become standard-issue military gear, peace talks occasionally rack up a higher body count than the wars they seek to stop, the government is reining in public spending, and the importance of winning Olympic gold medals is indoctrinated from an early age. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Thorstonia's national animal is the Atlantic Puffin, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Thorstonian Orthodox Tewahedo.

Thorstonia is ranked 130,931^st in the world and 182^nd in Confederation of Corrupt Dictators for Lowest Crime Rates, with 62.65 law-abiding acts per hour.