by Max Barry

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1

Laughs from the NSSport #lounge (on Discord)

Note: All times are UK time. I'm still not sure as to when I joined the NSSport Discord server, but most of the population appears to have abandoned good ole #nssport some time in the year before I created this dispatch. Where editing has been done, this is to remove irrelevant information (or to replace "naughty words" as determined by the Factbook Auto-Censorship Office with an ellipsis). You might not find some bits "funny", these are just for historical purposes or the stuff that really made me think. But mostly funny stuff.
06/09/2018
23:29 South Covello: Mmmm, pizza on its way.
23:30 South Covello: But will any of the elevators in my building by then, or will the poor pizza guy have to walk up eight flights of steps? One's undergoing renovation, two have broken in the past four hours, there's just one left.
23:32 Krytenia: It's time for another exciting round of "Will The Dough Rise" with South Covello!
23:32 South Covello: LOL, Krytie

07/09/2018
19:58 Aels: the GCF rankings, designed by TBI, are based on the same formula as the RL ICC ones
19:59 Rakivland: I hate acronyms lol.
19:59 Krytenia: IKR

22/09/2018
19:50 Plough Islands: viewtopic.php?f=7&t=448533&p=34665755#p34665755
19:51 Mriin: I mean, they're not wrong.
19:55 Sherpa: Very insightful post
19:58 Tinhampton: I mean, that roleplay got the guy as close to the World Cup as I did...
20:10 Tinhampton: (but if we ever do get there, the entire city is going to hate Rachel Coltfield for failing to take Tinhampton to the CoH)
20:19 Ko-oren: it's better than some RP's I've seen in the past
20:19 Ko-oren: I'm sure it's better than some stuff I wrote in the past too
20:23 KitKat [SOL|OME]: It is certainly relevant
20:39 Hinode: I think we just reached like a milestone
20:40 Hinode: It could very much so be the template of RPs for the future
20:40 Tinhampton: Indeed. The era of overtly-lengthy "INDUSSE WINS"-style writing is coming to an end, as we usher in a new era of creativity!
20:40 Plough Islands: it could be
20:40 Plough Islands: you could attach several of these one-word RPs end to end in the same post
20:40 Plough Islands: potentially up to several thousand
20:41 Plough Islands: and link the words together in some way
20:42 KitKat [SOL|OME]: Silly boy, that’s too easy
20:42 KitKat [SOL|OME]: :rattata:
20:45 Hinode: I mean, god forbid, can you imagine if we ever reach the day where RPs are just a blown image and... uh... nevermind.
20:53 Ko-oren: it's redefining what an RP is, it's convinced me we're living in a post-RP world, and it's challenging my mental picture of what an RP should be
20:54 Ko-oren: it's quintessentially the modern art of RPing
20:54 Ko-oren: hmm yes quite
20:57 Starblaydia: It's very insightful
20:58 Starblaydia: A meaningful and thought-provoking deconstruction of the very nature of football RP
20:59 Starblaydia: On quite another intellectual plain than our own workaday interpretations of the NSWC's culture of permanently chasing the mythical RP 'bonus'
21:00 Plough Islands: https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/247025014308601856/493149610068410368/unknown.png?width=282&height=300
21:04 Starblaydia: Yes
21:04 Hinode: You could, technically, call it the RP Bonus Brass Rings.
21:05 Starblaydia: Grab it!
NOTE: In response to a post by Taliostia in the WC81 RP thread that simply read "Football"

23/09/2018
19:07 Farf: viewtopic.php?p=34667621#p34667621
19:07 Farf: Uhhhh
19:08 Farf: Just saw the other RP
19:08 Qas: “If he wins it is utter cheating and it contradicts the NS sport law of roleplay.”
19:09 Farf: Just "Uhhhh"
19:11 Qas: face palm
19:13 Tinhampton: almost cheated against Turori on the last day of World Cup 79 qualifying... s**t
19:16 Mumau Atla-Siioai: was seen bribing WCC voters with chocolatey delectables in return for votes
19:16 Mumau Atla-Siioai: scandal ensued
19:20 Tinhampton: wonders what happens if you give a cocoabo a chocolate-topped Cocoa-bo
19:20 Tinhampton: We know the effects on murderous fluffy bunnies already :P
19:24 Mumau Atla-Siioai: indeed :smile:
NOTE: Indusse needs no introduction.

24/09/2018
16:38 South Toronto: I swear anybody who isn't my friend who tries to set a bang will get a swift one right back in their face.
16:40 EFL: Ew
16:42 South Toronto: Ah you might not be familiar with the South London vocabulary, if you are talking to me
16:42 South Toronto: Bang= Punch
16:42 South Toronto: And set=give
16:45 Osarius: man a get a magnum tump if unu waan fi come war wid badman
16:46 Osarius: a nuh play play ting mi deal wid. a di general fi step inna yuh bumboclaat face and tek wife from man who flex chess size like bra and pantie
16:46 Starblaydia: Bonus points for bumboclaat
16:46 Osarius: lmao
16:47 Starblaydia: Always do love a good regional variation on that
16:47 Osarius: i have to catch myself before i say it in front of some people
16:47 Osarius: so ill be like "a weh di bu...ju banton?!"
16:48 Starblaydia: Wait
16:48 Starblaydia: Banton? Pato Banton?
16:49 Osarius: buju banton a nuh pato banton bredda
16:50 Starblaydia: Ohhh cool mon
16:51 Starblaydia: Mi wer tinkin Baby Com Back Banton
16:51 Osarius: fun fact: banton refers to one who is an excellent storyteller, which hints at the roots of toasting (the precursor to rap) as being in the old west african griot tradition.
16:51 Starblaydia: ... that 100% makes sense
16:51 Osarius: pato is local iirc
16:51 Osarius: buju is a bonafide jamaican ghetto dancehall dude
16:52 Starblaydia: Rather than some brummie who guested on UB40's most mainstream track
16:52 Starblaydia: Of the 90s, at least
16:53 Osarius: but yeah, rap originated among the caribbean communities of new york as an extension of the jamaican tradition of toasting, which itself was a continuation of old storytelling traditions from africa. which is why i get particularly defensive when people talk s...t about rap as an art form.

27-28/09/2018, in the wake of the shenanigans that was N-Day3
23:45 Tinhampton: Regrettably, some in UPPERCUT are still HUEing at us for failing to strike a Non-Aggression Pact with them: https://i.imgur.com/VoS7PqL.jpg . I thought we weren't a gameplay region and that UPPERCUT only targetted us because reasons? (Yes, that is AO's flag on the far-left there)
00:03 Qusmo: Also, what does HUE even mean?
00:19 Hinode: Hue is a Brazilian laugh from the Internet. Usually used by griefers and whatnot.
00:19 Hinode: It's the secondary meaning, to be fair, the original one is just some color setting. Y'know, the one on your TV and whatnot.

14/10/2018, at the height of the DDOS Attack on NationStates
01:51 Tinhampton Leaked results from Banija: Vilita You are not authorised to read this scorecard-You are not authorised to read this scorecard Turori
01:52 MYT|PRH spoiler: VilTur wins
01:52 VilTur sounds about right
01:52 VilTur spoiler: VilTur loses
01:52 VilTur :stuck_out_tongue:
01:52 MYT|PRH exactement :stuck_out_tongue:
01:52 Tinhampton gives VilTur 33 places at WC82
01:52 VilTur accepts
01:53 VilTur we'll get to see where the magic number of nations to properly RP is
01:53 VilTur my suspicion is that we will find that 33 is too many.
01:55 Qasket, but Evil “And in Group C we have Vilita, Turori, Vilita & Turori, and the power team, Tropicorp”
01:55 Tinhampton inb4 cocoabo forest wins the world cup
01:55 MYT|PRH ah, ffs Tin you ruined my joke
01:55 MYT|PRH angry face
01:56 Tinhampton You are not authorised to read this response to Mytanija's comment by Tinhampton
01:56 MYT|PRH hahah
01:56 Qasket, but Evil Rop
01:56 Qasket, but Evil Rip
01:57 MYT|PRH Rop x
01:57 Qasket, but Evil Rest on pizza
01:58 MYT|PRH rest of* pizza
01:58 MYT|PRH as in
01:58 MYT|PRH I get to eat it all
02:00 Tinhampton Cruel utilitarianism: You should always do what brings the greatest amount of pizza to the greatest amount of players behind nations called Mytanija in any given situation
02:00 Tinhampton ;P
[...]
02:11 Qusmo Intense, long, certain, speedy, fruitful, pure -
02:12 Qusmo Such marks in pleasures & in pains endure.
02:12 Qusmo Such pleasures seek if private be thy end:
02:12 Qusmo If it be public, wide let them extend
02:12 Qusmo Such pains avoid, whichever be thy view:
02:12 Qusmo If pains must come, let them extend to few.
02:13 Qusmo & if pizza be the result
02:13 Qusmo Let thee join the NS Sport cult.
02:13 MYT|PRH bravo, Qusmo
02:14 Qusmo I couldn't've done it without Jeremy Bentham, of course.
02:14 Qusmo He's the real MVP.
02:14 Qusmo (Most Valuable Philosopher.)

17/10/2018
00:35 Aels in today's episode of 'Let's rip off RL news and pass it off as NS news without changing the names of RL people/things': viewtopic.php?p=34777213#p34777213
00:37 Eura quick, tell them catalonia isn't a real country!
00:37 Eura that'll get em
00:38 Eura (as a side note - dividing up spain on EUIV is very difficult)
00:38 Eura (bloody aragon always roll over and let castille tickle their belly)
00:43 Aels #CataluñaEsEspaña
00:46 Eura 1588 worst year of my life

27/10/2018
00:53 Night of the Liven Dead viewtopic.php?p=34821151#p34821151 lol
00:53 Night of the Liven Dead "I will produce results based on how they state what position they are in."
00:53 Night of the Liven Dead that is…
00:54 Night of the Liven Dead um, that's quite an impressive answer, for the wrong reasons
00:54 KitKat, but Good cool, I’ll have Générique Oméricain win every race :stuck_out_tongue:
00:54 Qusno "In a remarkable result today, all nineteen competitors in the Train Racing League finished tied for first."
00:55 Tinhampton "Mayor Saffron Howard has been suspended pending investigations into claims she personally ordered the stacking of almost twenty trains in yesterday's Train Racing League race..."
01:01 KitKat, but Good "Officials in Romainbourg are denying allegations that metro trains were deliberately halted in the Omerican leg of the Train Racing League"
01:08 Plough Islands "There was uproar in the People's Assembly as the member for Waterfalls, Cde Peter Brindley, referred to the Train Racing League as "a stupid giant Scalextric set for people with huge wallets and tiny willies", leading to afternoon tea being postponed by nearly two minutes."
01:12 KitKat, but Good ¡the horror! :scream:
01:13 KitKat, but Good How shall we ever survive such a tragedy? :cry:

24/06/2019
21:31 Tinhampton https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/michigan-man-ordered-pay-15-million-lottery-winnings-ex-wife-n1020536 <<<

Defendant [who was seeking a divorce] spent $1.00 to purchase the winning lottery ticket, however the dollar spent was arguably marital money and, as such, a joint investment
21:39 KitKat [OME|SAL]
The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
22:23 Hinode
The story so far:
Tinhampton posted on the wrong channel again.
I probably should ping her to post on the proper channel.
Dunno why the f...k I'm typing this instead.

29/07/2019
00:18 South Covello:

https://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=464076&start=200#p35997112
Technically if Ouna gets zero points this cycle, couldn't they participate in the next BoF?
00:18 FFR:
ii) A nation must have zero KPB points at the beginning of the World Cup cycle
00:19 FFR: I didn't realize this was the language but yes it seems like a team that loses all of their WC qualifying matches as an unranked would be BoF eligible
00:20 drawk: lmao
00:20 drawk: new strats
00:20 FFR: but of course the odds of getting 0 points in a WCQ are extremely low, especially in the 18 match marathon qualifying
00:20 drawk: I feel like going undefeated is easier
00:20 drawk: than getting 0
00:20 FFR: or if SQIS is used or if NSFS is used and there's another no rank, no RP, no roster in your group
00:40 Damukuni: <drawk> I feel like going undefeated is easier
00:40 Damukuni: It is
00:40 Damukuni: I dominated the WBC until the semifinal
00:41 Damukuni: after which I beat South Covello (then Gregoryisgodistan) in the Third-Place Series
00:41 Damukuni: Don’t remember losing a single match in the WBC that time around
00:41 Damukuni: Maybe 1
00:55 FFR: Super-Llamaland went undefeated in a WBC once because it used the xkoranate baseball scorinator
00:55 South Covello: Well, drawkie, 15-3-0 is undefeated, so yeah, of course it's easier. Hell, I think there was one year I went something like 7-7-0 in qualifying and scored 12 goals, yet somehow won my group and advanced. But if you're a zero rank team and don't RP or rosterfy, it could happen.
00:55 drawk: you know what I mean
00:56 FFR: Llama won 30 games in the group stage and then swept the playoffs. He was #1 ranked and RPing iirc but that shouldn't have happened regardless.
00:57 FFR: That scorinator hasn't been used in the WBC since (and the other one that comes with xkoranate hasn't been used in a long time since it is too random)
00:57 South Covello: I mean, there's a happy medium. As I recall, Jeck, who was #2, won all his games except the ones against Llama.
01:30 Xanneria: Wait what is used for Scorinating WBC?
01:42 Eshan: FIFA 13
01:42 PaddingtonBear: Dazzanator1093
01:43 Damukuni: You mean NHL 2K, right?
01:43 Hinode: Tekken 4
01:44 Damukuni: MK11!
01:48 Xanneria: Oh God I just remembered someone once used Super Mario Strikers as a Scorinater once
01:48 Xanneria: or the time I had no access to a computer and a puppet of mine ended up winning the Cherry Cup
01:53 Hinode: this is f...king brilliant
01:53 Damukuni: Hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhaha soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl!
01:56 South Covello: Here's how you scorinate the WBC.... Ride your llama down your street. Whatever street number it stops at to use the toilet, that's the home team's score. Get off the llama and take your goat for a walk. Whichever mailbox he eats first, that's the away team's score.
01:57 South Covello: Except in my case all the street numbers are in the 6000s and because [where I live] numbers streets uniformly in a grid across the county regardless of where the street starts and ends, there are no single or double digit street numbers anywhere near me.
01:59 Xanneria: @Hinode which one?
02:08 Hinode: the Super Mario Strikers one
02:09 Damukuni: 69 to 43. Rrrrrrrrright.
02:10 Xanneria: @Hinode The best part is it may have been a Cherry Cup they did that on
02:10 Xanneria: I wanna say it was Rorysville
NOTE: The WBC is the World Baseball Classic, the foremost international baseball tournament.

30/07/2019
01:41 Qusmo: Is U6 football the ultimate example of gegenpressing?

02/08/2019
20:50 tinhampton: What in the good name of Louise Nurding is a Corgislakia and what's it supposed to do? Apart from "raise awareness of Corgislakia?" If current trends of convergence and singularity-ing carry on like this, then the only Corgislakia we'll be Corgislakiaing about Corgislakia Corgislakia Corgislakia
21:08 Plough Islands: why do I know who that is
21:19 tinhampton: adds the Insecurity Council to her list of Bad Places
21:20 Plough Islands: I have a permanent membership of the insecurity council XD
21:20 Plough Islands: I meant Louise Nurding
21:21 Osarius: Because eternal were a pretty good girl group for while
21:23 tinhampton: Nurding then became Redknapp for a while after marrying Harry's son for a while, who she then divorced - the girl is still officially Louise Redknapp but some promotional materials for her new musical thingies simply refer to her as "Louise" (which is - to my awareness - the one thing she has in common with Cheryl Cole and the original, fat Ronaldo)
21:29 tinhampton: Speaking of divorced women, if you take a taxi in New York this week, you'll probably get some realtor called Ann Cutbill Lenane telling you that she wants to hook up with a divorced dad. Thirty seconds, seven thousand cabs, $5,000 - you could get five million telegram stamps
21:34 Plough Islands: ...is this a reference that's whooshing
21:34 Aels: I see tin is in one of her random rants again
21:36 tinhampton:

I see tin is in one of her random rants again
<<< That's the correct answer. Speaking of women who are perilously close to marriage, until getting a Porsche for her latest birthday, Jenny from the Block hasn't driven since Athers of the Block was still playing for England (and Wales, if that needs any more clarification. Even though he represented Lancashire and read History at Cambridge.)
21:37 Plough Islands: I believe that in a previous life she was the Oracle of Delphi
21:37 Plough Islands: and Athenian statesmen and citizens alike were baffled thoroughly
21:38 tinhampton: On second thoughts, my grumblings are not random - they are meticulously planned as to maximise your risk of thinking that NSSport's resident tincan is off on some tangent. Unfortunately, I have yet to meet The Circle... although I do have a husband, which brings us full circle :P

12/08/2019
05:32 Banija: Banijans managing in the international game have 1 draw and 14 losses
05:32 Banija: A proud history of our stunning lack of ability to coach :stuck_out_tongue:
05:41 tinhampton: looks suspiciously at the Road Transit Company :P
05:46 Banija: It's called the Regional Transit Company, thank you very much :stuck_out_tongue:
05:47 Banija: We build excellent bus systems, subways, trams, sky movers, etc...
05:47 Banija: We don't produce soccer coaches
05:47 Banija: We all have a flaw, eh? :stuck_out_tongue:
05:47 Nephara: club phones up the banijan FA, asks for their best coach
05:48 Nephara: is very confused to be presented with a long-haul bus
05:55 Banija: LOL
05:56 Banija: Tbh yea
05:56 Banija: That's what would happen most likely

14/08/2019
04:17 EQS: CUTOFF
04:20 Banija: rolls the drums
04:28 Qasbestos: drums the rolls
04:29 Mriin: tolls dhe rrums
04:33 Audio: drolls the rums

16/08/2019
02:58 South Covello: @Aels but he said FM Manager, which would be Football Manager Manager, so it's obviously a game where you design a bot that plays Football Manager for you.

17/08/2019
06:14 Mriin: "which Rushmori imperial power are you under again?" "oh one of the terranean ones, it's always them"
07:40 Electrum: The Eurans are land grabbing imperalists!
07:42 Eura: No we're not
07:43 Eura: You're land grabbing imperialists who exist on historic Euran conqu- I mean homeland
07:48 Electrum: :thinking:
07:49 Electrum: :sulsuthink:
10:41 Electrum: We will be suing you at the Common Rushmori Community Court of Justice @Eura and we will claim back what is rightfully ours
11:35 Aels: I don't think the CRC Court exists yet sorry
11:36 Nephara: We demand an investigation into the replacement of CRC Court and its departure at a difficult time in such an important dispute. We ask for an examination of the borders that were not suitable for the Electrum nation, while Euran lawyers seem to be wearing shoes that cling to the courtroom floor, so we saw Electrum lawyers fall during the court case, while Eura's lawyers are steady.
11:52 Electrum: We will be retaining the services of Eshan as our lawyer to make sure those dastardly Eurans pay their due!
11:52 PaddingtonBear: Lol
15:12 Eshan: My client is innocent!
15:53 Damusaurus Rex: Oh look, the CRC is our version of the United States of Europe
17:08 Sajnur: Nah, Electrum is really a nation of electric plectrums

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