The Imperial Kentish Colony of Tsruhkwah is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Patriarch Livius Kirk with an iron fist, and notable for its ban on automobiles, triple-decker prams, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 33.494 billion Tsruhkwahians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it is effectively ruled by the Department of Spirituality, although Law & Order and Defense are also considered important, while Social Policy and Healthcare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Highgate. The average income tax rate is 98.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Tsruhkwahian economy, worth a remarkable 4,949 trillion Egabian Pounds a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Basket Weaving industry, with major contributions from Furniture Restoration. Average income is an impressive 147,763 Egabian Pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

The jackhammer is considered a tool of artistic criticism, glassy-eyed Tsruhkwahian wives lifelessly chant "I love you" on command, witches' brews set off Geiger counters, and anti-tourism militias patrol the borders. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Tsruhkwah's national animal is the Hawk, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is a major religion.

Tsruhkwah is ranked 35^th in the world and 1^st in New Sorvun for Most Primitive, scoring 908.55 on the Scary Big Number Scale.