The Republic of Tube Island is a colossal, orderly nation, renowned for its daily referendums, pith helmet sales, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 6.894 billion Tube Islandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 47.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tube Islandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,006 trillion Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 146,022 Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Romantic sunsets are no longer interrupted by explosions and monstrous roars, adult magazines are having a sales resurgence as internet anonymity disappears, the letters L, G, and B must never be grouped together, and nature reserves often contain artificial waterfalls and concrete paths. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tube Island's national animal is the Crab, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Tube Island is ranked 31,722^nd in the world and 143^rd in The grimy backyard of Bigej for Lowest Crime Rates, with 81.73 law-abiding acts per hour.