by Max Barry

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Highest Average Incomes: 3rdLowest Crime Rates: 3rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3rd
The Military Dictatorship of
Iron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors
Ignorance is Bliss
Influence
Duckspeaker
Region
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Tzuland

Population17.773 billion

CapitalFort Tzuland
LeaderGeneral Tzu
FaithTzuism

CurrencyGold
AnimalGolden Pig

The Military Dictatorship of Tzuland is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by General Tzu with an iron fist, and renowned for its national health service, punitive income tax rates, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 17.773 billion Tzulandians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fort Tzuland. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Tzulandian economy, worth an astonishing 19,995 trillion Golds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 1,125,038 Golds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Religious bigotry and a fear of outsiders have replaced religious studies in schools, Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume, sermons are regularly interrupted by businessmen taking phone calls, and several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tzuland's national animal is the Golden Pig, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Tzuism.

Tzuland is ranked 183,805th in the world and 107th in Yggdrasil for Most Politically Free, scoring 12.71 on the Diebold Election Inking Scale.

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1%
Highest Average Incomes: 3rdLowest Crime Rates: 3rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 7thHighest Poor Incomes: 8thMost Scientifically Advanced: 12thMost Subsidized Industry: 13thLargest Black Market: 14thMost Efficient Economies: 15thLargest Governments: 16thMost Corrupt Governments: 18thLargest Mining Sector: 19thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 24thLargest Insurance Industry: 25thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 26thLargest Information Technology Sector: 27thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 35thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 46thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 55thHighest Economic Output: 72ndHighest Average Tax Rates: 103rdMost Avoided: 154thLargest Retail Industry: 157thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 161stLargest Agricultural Sector: 197thSafest: 221stMost Secular: 310thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 354thSmartest Citizens: 385thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 532ndMost Developed: 597thMost Advanced Public Transport: 656thMost Advanced Public Education: 664thLongest Average Lifespans: 683rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 729thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 776thLargest Gambling Industry: 926thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,105thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,106thMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,239thRudest Citizens: 1,494thMost Influential: 1,795thTop
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Fattest Citizens: 3,454thLargest Populations: 8,454thTop
10%
Most Stationary: 14,685thMost Authoritarian: 14,697thMost Conservative: 15,705thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 18,834th
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1%
Most Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2nd in the regionMost Secular: 3rd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3rd in the regionSafest: 3rd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 3rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 5th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 5th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 6th in the regionTop
10%
Rudest Citizens: 7th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 8th in the regionMost Conservative: 9th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 9th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 10th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 10th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 10th in the regionFattest Citizens: 11th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, sermons are regularly interrupted by businessmen taking phone calls.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, religious bigotry and a fear of outsiders have replaced religious studies in schools.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, work creation schemes keep the masses occupied with meaningless tasks.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, environmental protestors are being rounded up and taken away in sinister black vans as a massive land development campaign gets underway.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, state dairy cow's milk is a shear-thickening fluid that can stop small-caliber bullets.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, prisoners pray grey skies are gonna clear up.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, jail house rock has been replaced with jail house golden oldies.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, blind dates tend to result in bruised shins.

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