The Grand Duchy of Ump7 is a colossal, efficient nation, renowned for its public floggings, avowedly heterosexual populace, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.92 billion Ump7ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 50.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Ump7ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,405 trillion Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 203,074 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.5 times as much as the poorest.

The government is funneling billions into Cape Ump7 following the shuttle crash, a baby's first breath is also a baby's first felony, a large concrete wall is being built around the country's borders, and hundreds of subterranean tunnels are being built as part of "Project Morlock". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Ump7's national animal is the Black Widow, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Ump7 is ranked 35,031^st in the world and 2,363^rd in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 79.96 law-abiding acts per hour.