The Free Land of United Canara is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Lucius with an even hand, and remarkable for its frequent executions, ubiquitous missile silos, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 11.863 billion Canarans are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Helliosis. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Canaran economy, worth a remarkable 4,680 trillion Skulls a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an amazing 394,571 Skulls, with the richest citizens earning 9.1 times as much as the poorest.

Would-be emigrants are told "abandon all hope all ye who would exit here", access to the woods is only granted to those who bring a small shrubbery, Lucius reduces citizens' commute times by giving away their homes, and the government is under the thumb of countless special interests. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. United Canara's national animal is the Brachiosaurus, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Demonology.

United Canara is ranked 294,374^th in the world and 1^st in Terra Pro Redditu for Lowest Crime Rates, with 1.46 law-abiding acts per hour.