The United States of United Pangean Federation is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by President with a fair hand, and notable for its smutty television, ubiquitous missile silos, and public floggings. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 14.619 billion Pangeans enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Washington DC. The average income tax rate is 38.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient United Pangean Federationian economy, worth a remarkable 3,425 trillion Pangean Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 234,312 Pangean Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

The question "please would you...?" is usually laden with passive aggression, citizens are allowed to rise or fall based on their own merits, the country's population is reported with a margin of error of several billions, and the United Pangean Federation Enquirer offers weekly cash prizes for 'most blasphemous song, story, or cartoon'. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United Pangean Federation's national animal is the Clydesdale, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Freedom of Religion.

United Pangean Federation is ranked 28,566^th in the world and 725^th in the Rejected Realms for Lowest Crime Rates, with 83.58 law-abiding acts per hour.