The Queendom of West Hamburg is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Scarlett von Preußen with an iron fist, and remarkable for its public floggings, keen interest in outer space, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, cynical population of 5.928 billion West Hamburgians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Königsberg. The average income tax rate is 75.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient West Hamburgian economy, worth 755 trillion Hamburg Marks a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 127,502 Hamburg Marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government is more interested in identifying problems than fixing them, advertisers scramble to sponsor the broadcast of Scarlett von Preußen's most personal functions, adults pretending to be teenage girls claim to have wholesome motives, and social media sites prompt users to send birthday greetings to unresponsive nonagenarians. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. West Hamburg's national animal is the Seal, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Atheist.

West Hamburg is ranked 68,324^th in the world and 2,083^rd in The North Pacific for Most Stationary, with 158.51262077408 Days.