by Max Barry

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Most Primitive: 168thMost Ignorant Citizens: 245thMost Devout: 272nd
The Kingdom of
Iron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors
For the Glory of Kek!
King Gregolas The Parched
Influence
Newcomer
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Ye Olde Kek Kingdom

Population3.317 billion

CapitalKekstantinople
LeaderKing Gregolas The Parched
FaithKult of Kek

CurrencyKekel
AnimalPepe

The Kingdom of Ye Olde Kek Kingdom is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by King Gregolas The Parched with an iron fist, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, strictly enforced bedtime, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 3.317 billion Kek Kingdomers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Spirituality, Law & Order, and Industry are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kekstantinople. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 53.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Ye Olde Kek Kingdomian economy, worth 838 trillion Kekels a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, Gambling, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 252,796 Kekels, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,583,530 per year while the poor average 17,104, a ratio of 92.6 to 1.

No one is quite sure what many government officials look like, constipated-looking politicians are uptight about potty mouths, school children declare that teachers "may confiscate our toys but they can never take our FREEDOM", and veterans in wheelchairs are left waist-deep in rice paddies to gather grain. Crime is a serious problem. Ye Olde Kek Kingdom's national animal is the Pepe, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Kult of Kek.

Ye Olde Kek Kingdom is ranked 1,066th in the world and 38th in The North Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 59.36 Obesity Rate.

Top
1%
Most Primitive: 168thMost Ignorant Citizens: 245thMost Devout: 272ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 505thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 527thLargest Gambling Industry: 659thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 863rdFattest Citizens: 1,066thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,437thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,912thTop
5%
Most Cultured: 2,581stLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,729thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,856thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3,115thHighest Average Incomes: 3,401stLargest Retail Industry: 3,632ndMost Valuable International Artwork: 3,639thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 3,705thLargest Black Market: 3,740thHighest Disposable Incomes: 4,460thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 4,765thLargest Mining Sector: 5,693rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 6,537thRudest Citizens: 8,480thMost Efficient Economies: 8,967thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 10,130thTop
10%
Most Subsidized Industry: 12,004thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 12,497thLargest Governments: 12,540thMost Armed: 12,637thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 16,995thHighest Crime Rates: 20,045thHighest Economic Output: 22,723rd
Top
1%
Most Primitive: 8th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 17th in the regionMost Devout: 19th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 20th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 22nd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 24th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 32nd in the regionFattest Citizens: 38th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 61st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 72nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 97th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 128th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 132nd in the regionMost Cultured: 134th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 156th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 158th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 158th in the regionLargest Black Market: 164th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 184th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 213th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 224th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 249th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 279th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 332nd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 348th in the regionRudest Citizens: 430th in the regionMost Armed: 430th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 484th in the regionTop
10%
Most Efficient Economies: 496th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 542nd in the regionLargest Governments: 633rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 662nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 750th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 805th in the regionMost Avoided: 929th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Ye Olde Kek Kingdom, veterans in wheelchairs are left waist-deep in rice paddies to gather grain.
  • : Ye Olde Kek Kingdom lodged a message on the The North Pacific Regional Message Board.
  • : Following new legislation in Ye Olde Kek Kingdom, school children declare that teachers "may confiscate our toys but they can never take our FREEDOM".
  • : Following new legislation in Ye Olde Kek Kingdom, constipated-looking politicians are uptight about potty mouths.
  • : Following new legislation in Ye Olde Kek Kingdom, no one is quite sure what many government officials look like.
  • : Following new legislation in Ye Olde Kek Kingdom, multiple births are a cause of celebration for tax collectors.
  • : Following new legislation in Ye Olde Kek Kingdom, census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate.
  • : Following new legislation in Ye Olde Kek Kingdom, it is illegal for a parent to tell a child to stop eating their boogers.
  • : Following new legislation in Ye Olde Kek Kingdom, Maxtopian tourists make expensive pilgrimages to Kekstantinople to enjoy their national art.
  • : Following new legislation in Ye Olde Kek Kingdom, military doctrine says not to open fire until you see the "beady little eyes" of Johnny Foreigner.

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