The Holy Empire of Zyrcrestia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by the Chancellor with an even hand, and notable for its pith helmet sales, avowedly heterosexual populace, and triple-decker prams. The hard-nosed, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 21.401 billion Zyrcrestians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The relatively small, socially-minded government is primarily concerned with Education, although Healthcare, Environment, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Social Policy and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zyrtulai. The average income tax rate is 46.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Zyrcrestian economy, worth a remarkable 4,683 trillion zyrces a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 218,848 zyrces, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Unemployed youngsters trained to kill are being released en masse into society, third world countries are rich in "I Love Zyrtulai" t-shirts, the new biography of the Chancellor is subtitled "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Hate the Bomb", and only 'organics' are permitted to be citizens. Crime is totally unknown. Zyrcrestia's national animal is the raven, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Zyrcrestia is ranked 1,138^th in the world and 16^th in 10000 Islands for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 10,581.75 on the Hickory Productivity Index.