World Assembly Resolutions
Since the rise of the World Assembly from the ashes of its predecessor, the Bureaucracy That Cannot Be Named, WA member nations have worked tirelessly to improve the standard of the world. That, or tried to force other nations to be more like them. But that's just semantics.
Below is every World Assembly resolution ever passed.
View: All | Historical | General Assembly | Security Council
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Security Council Resolution # 339
Repeal: “Commend The Western Isles”
A resolution to repeal previously passed legislation.
Security Council Resolution #336 “Commend The Western Isles” shall be struck out and rendered null and void.
The Security Council,
Certain that the main problem with Commend the Western Isles is that its predominantly a laundry list of treaties the Western Isles made. Any region can make treaties, but SC#336 does not contextualize them or explain why those treaties are of any note,
Elaborating that the organization of Commend the Western Isles sabotages itself; it is merely a list of treaty names, none of which are elaborated on beyond an encyclopedic, dispassionate description which fails to adequately convey why the treaties are impressive or stray from the norm,
Concluding that the hailing and saluting clauses the clauses which refer to the treaties of the Western Isles and make up the bulk of the commendation are merely pieces of fluff that fill space and say nothing about the Western Isles. Such fluff is characteristic of the proposal, and can also be found in the following clauses:
The applauding clause cites a welcoming attitude and certain helpful resources, such as a guide and mentor nations, which fail to set the Western Isles apart from a typical region. If these guides and mentorship programs are unique or particularly impressive, SC#336 failed to explain why,
The applauding clause also commends the Western Isles for having a forum for nations to talk in, a typical practice among many regions that's certainly nowhere near commendable or special,
The appreciating clause, which discussed Citizens of The Isles failed to explain what this creative writing publisher was or what made it special the same could perhaps be said of its mention of the Western Isles News,
Noting that the aforementioned clauses make up all but the entirety of SC#336, and there is hardly anything substantive left in SC#336 to comment on,
Noticing the ridiculous impressed clause which implies that the Western Isles is small, a claim thats not only wrong, but detracts from the idea that the Western Isles is important,
Unimpressed by the drafting of SC#336 Commend the Western Isles, whose author mistakenly attempted to rush the proposal to the floor of the Security Council, went silent whenever a nation provided constructive criticism, ignored or gave curt, unsubstantive responses to virtually every genuine question from voters, and failed to change the proposal very much in an absurd twelve drafts,
Finding a final blow to Commend the Western Isles in the fact that of the few nations which voiced support for SC#336 in the public drafting area, many did so while admitting that the proposal was too poorly written for their liking, implying that the Western Isles is respected, but the same nations which respect it feel SC#336 did not do it justice,
Concluding that SC#336 failed to provide beyond a shred of evidence of the Western Isles commendability in its pile of fluff, and if the region is commendable, a much more convincing proposal has to be created,
Hereby repeals SC#336 Commend the Western Isles.
Passed: |
For: | 9,498 | 73.6% |
Against: | 3,403 | 26.4% |
Security Council Resolution # 340
Commend Singapore no2
A resolution to recognize outstanding contribution by a nation or region.
Observing that national leaders constantly face a barrage of dilemmas where they have to make prompt decisions to resolve, lest their nation dissolve into complete chaos,
Recognising the many nations that dedicate countless hours into assisting these leaders in resolving issues by presenting several options,
Praising one such helpful nation, Singapore no2, for hitting the ground running with their unyielding efforts in aiding national leaders in resolving multiple international foreign affairs conflicts,
Extolling Singapore no2 for helping to resolve a dispute instigated by aggressive archipelagic nation Macronesia, Affirmative Election?, where ethnic Macronesians picketed outside government offices to protest the lack of ethnic minorities in national governments. Singapore no2ean diplomats helped to bring forth all of the protesters' demands in a clear way which paved the way for national leaders to quickly make a decision and be able to return to grocery shopping,
Applauding Singapore no2 for the way they dealt with the international incident Externalities Palmed Off, where a thick smog engulfed a group of coastal nations due to a developing country (later revealed to be Macronesia) burning large amounts of forests for land. Singapore no2 assembled a team of their top meteorologists to examine weather patterns, and from that data they presented several options for nations to deal with the issue, such as applying diplomatic pressure or building a protective dome around the country. This intervention likely saved billions of citizens from lung disease,
Noting that these incidents were still not the end of Macronesias hostility, nor were they the end of Singapore no2 attempting to stop these antics. In the event dubbed A Plank Too Far, Macronesian ministers declared that pirates in several nations were plundering their ships and pledged to sink any foreign vessel that entered their waters, disrupting maritime trade. Singapore no2ean diplomats once again convened to facilitate international peace negotiations between the swashbuckling sea dogs and Macronesian officials, pacifying the situation,
Appreciating Singapore no2 for interceding in the dispute between nations and Macronesian durian farmers during the event dubbed Putrid Predicament, where Macronesian durians (and their pungency) flooded public transport in foreign nations, causing people to suffocate. Singapore no2ean food critics mediated the situation by conducting a smell test on the durians and determining the best course of action nations should take regarding the situation,
Thanking Singapore no2 for not only helping nations deal with Macronesia, but also for their efforts in protecting nations from the belligerent nation Bigtopia during the crisis A Blast from the Past, who had attempted to exploit nations by offering to deactivate landmines which were deployed due to their previous warmongering actions. Singapore no2ean weapons enthusiasts (who had previously resolved an issue involving 3D-printed firearms) offered national leaders a variety of other options they could choose to be rid of the landmines, preventing more innocent children from exploding,
Lauding Singapore no2 for their quick thinking in preventing nations from being extorted for their money by economic superpower Dàguó after a clumsy advisor accidentally shattered a priceless artefact in the event dubbed Like a Bull in a Dàguó Shop. Singapore no2ean weapons enthusiasts examined the viability of the situation and recommended that a duel between the advisor and the emperor could best resolve the situation, preventing nations from losing millions of their currency or facing sanctions,
Recognising that in addition to these large scale crises, Singapore no2 has also successfully resolved 22 other issues, ranging from abuse of shared property ('A Problem Shared') to the dangers of prehistoric zoos ('Who Let The Dinos Out?'),
Noticing that Singapore no2 successfully resolved such a large amount of issues in an astoundingly short period of time that they were internationally recognised as one of the most prolific issues solvers in the world, no easy feat,
Revering the wisdom (and humour) possessed by the official representatives of Singapore no2 during their engagements with the international community, making sure that other international problems can be solved in a clear manner,
Applauding Singapore no2 for their non-issues related contributions, such as securing their vulnerable and previously invaded region Singapore from foreign invasion by utilising security measures such as passwords while still allowing new nations to join the region (a system similar to the commended region Hell), and
Convinced that Singapore no2 has broken the mould and has undeniably made the world a better place through their actions, and deserve to be commended by this body,
Passed: |
For: | 10,574 | 79.4% |
Against: | 2,736 | 20.6% |
General Assembly Resolution # 533
Repeal: “International Criminal Protocol”
A resolution to repeal previously passed legislation.
General Assembly Resolution #500 “International Criminal Protocol” (Category: Civil Rights; Strength: Strong) shall be struck out and rendered null and void.
The General Assembly,
Applauding GA #500 "International Criminal Protocol" for its intended goal, which was ostensibly to preserve the civil liberties of those imprisoned from the horrors of state-sanctioned legal abuses,
Reassuring member states that a replacement resolution has been drafted to carry on the vital protections GA #500 offered concerning prison conditions,
Dismayed, however, that the resolution permits member states to decide the legality of capital punishment; a state-sanctioned penalty that this Assembly regards as inherently abhorrent and as posing a devastating detriment to civil liberties,
Cognizant that many ambassadors were unaware of the resolutions toleration of the death penalty at the time of its passage, perhaps because of its focus on the rights of prisoners,
Referring to the fact that this body has previously repealed otherwise well-meaning resolutions on such grounds (see also GA#438 Repeal: Crime And Punishment),
In particular, it must be noted that:
The death penalty is always inconsistent with the inherent dignity of the person,
The costs of the administrative effort necessary to fully prove the guilt of the convicted almost always outweighs any of its possible financial benefits,
The presumption that the death penalty lowers violent crime rates is based on the empirically false assumption that the circumstances of violent crime can be considered in a vacuum where criminals act rationally,
The death penalty rarely aids the family of homicide victims, as it merely adds the emotional baggage of yet another life lost, and
The use of such a severe, irreversible penalty can further exacerbate disparities in justice systems, especially those with existing widespread discrimination,
Further noting that since the justifications presented for the use of the death penalty are insufficient to allow member states to legalize it, this esteemed Assembly ought to prohibit it - which cannot occur in the presence of the target resolution,
Appalled that this resolution stands in the way of preventing the execution of innocent persons for crimes they did not commit, an atrocity that will continue to occur so as long as this resolution remains in force,
Resolved that the numerous benefits and protections this resolution brings forth does not outweigh the crippling blow it inflicts upon civil liberties, a disservice to the good intentions that fostered it,
Hereby repeals GA #500 "International Criminal Protocol".
Co-authored by Pope saint peter the apostle and Tinhampton.
Passed: |
For: | 9,879 | 76.0% |
Against: | 3,112 | 24.0% |
General Assembly Resolution # 534
Fair Treatment of Prisoners
A resolution to improve worldwide human and civil rights.
The General Assembly,
Believing that the abuse of the imprisoned is an intolerable state of affairs,
Aiming to reform the criminal justice system to prevent these abuses from occurring,
Hereby,
1. Defines protective confinement as the imprisonment of a person with severe or total isolation from other inmates,
2. Prohibits:
Subjecting a prisoner to treatment inferior to that legally permissible for prisoners of war,
Compelling a prisoner via force, threats of force, or other forms of coercion to perform labor or a service as a punitive measure, or as a means to generate profit for a prison facility and/or associated third parties,
The sale or leasing of any prisoner by the government or any private prison to any private corporation or institution,
Placing a prisoner in protective confinement, unless:
The informed consent of the prisoner is present, or
Doing so is the only means available to mitigate risks posed by the prisoner to the general prison population, or
The prisoner is medically incapacitated, and
Barring prisoners from the opportunity to voluntarily carry out a service or activity as a form of paid labor,
3. Requires that:
Those who have had protective confinement imposed on them have regular access to the services of psychiatric staff; and that they have access to visitations from guests in accordance with standard prison policy,
All available measures are taken to reinstate a prisoner into the general prison population, as soon as it is safe to do so,
Member states ensure that prisoners have access to investigative resources and legal recourse in the event that they lodge a complaint about abuses inflicted upon them, and that no reprisals are carried out against those who lodge these complaints,
Prisoners who voluntarily carry out a service or activity as a form of labor during the period of their incarceration receive a wage commensurate to the extent of their work, which shall be equivalent to the wage a free worker employed in the same trade would receive for doing the same quantity and quality of work, and that
All workplace health and safety regulations, past and future, on the national and international level, apply to prisoners working voluntarily during the period of their incarceration.
Co-authored by Barfleur.
Passed: |
For: | 13,026 | 84.0% |
Against: | 2,479 | 16.0% |
General Assembly Resolution # 535
Death Penalty Ban
A resolution to improve worldwide human and civil rights.
The World Assembly,
Recognising that there is no convincing and statistically robust evidence that the death penalty deters crime,
Hoping to spend money currently dedicated to the substantial administrative and legal costs of pursuing death penalties on enforcement or rehabilitation programmes which actually do reduce crime,
Gravely concerned that even under stringent protocols death penalties are issued against people who are actually innocent of the crimes for which they are to be punished, and
Believing that the death penalty in its application and pursuit targets the mentally ill, socio-economically disadvantaged, and members of racial and cultural minorities, even when administered under facially neutral statutes, hereby enacts the following:
The death penalty is abolished except for crimes under a military penal code committed during time of war.
All sentences contravening section 1 must be commuted forthwith under procedures not inconsistent with World Assembly law.
Member nations collectively may further restrict the use of or abolish the death penalty, section 1 notwithstanding.
Passed: |
For: | 10,416 | 67.3% |
Against: | 5,052 | 32.7% |